Eight months after.
Back when we were fine the falling sun would cast deep shadows over the houses. Louis always called it the "dark hours". I liked it, he on the other hand found it to be scary. "It's like a horror film!" he would shout at the top of his lungs as he squirmed in my arms while we sat outside in the summer breeze. He was quite the girl. I like girls.
Now I stand alone, waiting. I looked across the blank room, studying it's sharp lines and black stains that I pretended to love. I always pretended to like the things he liked. I wanted to please him. Reaching down, I noticed the letter. It was skillfully placed so that I'd see it, he always did shit like that.
Harry,
I know that when you find this you'll remember the way I smell, and how I always called you mine. I know that when you find this you'll think about killing yourself, and I know that you'll think about all of the nights we spent together. It's okay to think about these things, the times when were together, and young and happy. I do too. I remember when we first kissed. My whole body felt electric. That's when I realized that I had to leave you. I knew that you would suck every last drop of life out of my frail body. You wouldn't do it on purpose, but you would do it. I would be left to rot without you. Some days, when the sun had already risen high above the clouds, I would stare at you as you slept next to me. I would think about writing this letter and how much it would kill me. Now I sit here, where we used to be, and it's killing me. I remember the first time we kissed. It scared the shit out of me. I remember wanting to kill you for making me so in love. It still makes me angry. I never wanted to love. I wasn't meant to love and, Harry, you made me love. I don't know whether to thank you or hit you. I guess we'll never know. Don't come looking for me, I'll be long gone by the time you find this. I hope you don't do something stupid, you can be impulsive. We had everything. Sometimes things end, and new things begin. Remember that, but please don't remember me. I did love you.
Louis.
I rolled the delicate paper between my fingers. I could feel his touch on my back, and his breath on my neck. I knew that he wouldn't come home, not for me, not for himself, not for anyone. A tear, just one, fell from my cheek. It rolled off of the paper and onto my chapped hand. I felt a piece of me die and leave with him.
Things would never be the same.
--
Hi!
I'll be updating at least once a week, maybe even once a day. This story contains sex, violence, and some things that may be triggering. Please read at your own risk. Also, fem!louis and a little bit of fem!harry. It's all hidden.
When writing I was listening to Troy Sivan's new album "Blue Neighbourhood". I'd suggest you listen to it too!! (low key promo for my boy)
Have fun reading, and have a great New Years! <33333
