Time

5 Words

"Don't do it, you have so much to live for, if you do this you have no chance of love, a family, memories! Please, don't do this." I cried.

James peered over this shoulder before mouthing five words that would radically change my life.

I screamed and he gracefully fell back, as if falling into a bed. I ran to the edge and watched as he hit the ground many many floors below on the concrete sidewalk. I felt bile come up my throat and wretched loudly, tears from the heaving mixing with tears of despair, agony and horror as I screamed at the stars.

My best friend was gone. My only friend.

I was surrounded by officers in a matter of moments before I was thrown into the abyss of darkness.

------ 3 months later --------------
Doctors, hospitals, and therapy later I knew there was nothing I could do to change it. He was gone forever. I've been able to stop crying and occasionally feel happiness. The medication helps with the thoughts and sadness. It makes me feel completely numb to all emotions, happiness included though.

I even got a job, not a very high-paying one, I hadn't really had time to be picky after my parents kicked me out, saying I was insane.

Today was different. I knew it would be. I could feel it.

I was on my way to my apartment when I saw a glimmer on the sidewalk, just the sight of the concrete bringing up horrid memories.

I picked up the object, identifying it as a necklace, the pendant was pure black, seemingly taking all the light in from around it, the chain was silver and cold to the touch, in sharp contrast with the pendant itself.

I decided I would bring it to the police and report it lost later that day so for now I slipped it over my neck, the feeling instantly calming me.

I felt myself hit the ground before I realized that I was falling, the world dark around me.

When all around me calmed I sat up, gazing around at the familiar place, deja vu sweeping over my body as I realized what had happened. I wasn't even sure how.

I got up and ran, not distracting myself by anything but my task, I ran to the tall, ominous building I was only a few blocks from, running past every questioning eye as I flung myself up the fire escape.

I burst through the door to the roof, James spinning around to meet my eyes, shock covering his features. "H-how did you know?" I shook my head, a silent answer. "James.. Don't do it, please. There's so much that you deserve, amazing and beautiful things. Not this. Please step down from the ledge and go home with me. I'm begging you." I pleaded, tears streaming down my cheeks. If I could change his mind, I'd still have my best friend with me in the future. Still happy, laughing, loving.

He mouthed those five words to me, my heart shattering more with each vowel that he whispered. I threw myself at him, arms reaching as he fell back, as if he were going to come back up, flying on beautiful wings. But that never happened.

I had to go through the loss of my friend again. Why. Why hadn't I been able to save him? I'm so worthless.

I gazed up at the night sky. Wishing I had been the one to die instead. He didn't deserve it.

I glanced over where the me from before should of been, noticing that I was in fact absent. I didn't care, I didn't care at all. About anything.

I closed my eyes and awoke back where I belonged, tears still falling relentlessly I grasped the pendant, hoping that it would work. I needed to save James. He needed me. I felt the falling sensation and awoke in the same place, not hesitating as I got up and ran, making it to the roof in record time.

I ran to James, not touching him as to not push him off accidentally.

He looked at me bewildered. Before a word could fall from his mouth I cut him off. "James. Please don't do this. For me. Please. I'll do anything. You mean the world to me! I love you!"

His lips formed the words and I screamed my heart out, sobs wracking my body as he fell.

Suddenly a flash of light enveloped me and I dropped down onto the concrete, back to my time again. I cried, not caring about the stares I received. My heart ached horridly in my chest as I clutched the pendant to my neck. I prayed to every God I knew, begging to let me go back once more. Just one more time.

The feeling fell over me again, waking this time on the roof of the building. I stood up, not wavering in my steps as I walked to the edge, hopping up onto it. I gazed up to the sky, clouds covering all the normally beautiful sky.

I heard the door creak behind me, I glanced back to see James staring at me, surprise clear in his eyes.

"W-why are you here? H-how did you know?" His voice cracked slightly as he ended his question, only then noticing my spot on the ledge. "Don't do it, you have so much to live for, if you do this you have no chance of love, a family, memories! Please, don't do this." James begged, falling onto his knees. The dark necklace thumping against his sweater from its spot around his neck. I looked sadly back it him, mouthing five words.

"But I don't deserve it." I recited. Tears falling down my pale cheeks as I leaned back, embracing the calmness.

The happiness.

The dark.