The feels

It was a deep feeling. I Couldn't tell the difference between the dark and the light. Maybe it was a feeling of closure and happiness, yet it could've been the feeling of loneliness and depression, I saw every time I gazed in those big brown eyes. You gave me a sense of hope, yet gave me a sense of betrayal. I couldn't decide if I actually found peace in you, or if I just enjoyed your vibe. There was a gap between us, our personalities, and our opinion on everything. You found stability in everything, yet I depended on one thing, you. I couldn't decide if it was me, or maybe it was you, moving on so rapidly, like the New York traffic, I was another taxi cab that you would eventually leave when you reached your destination, then you rapidly would hop on another. We were polar opposites, yet I loved it, you hated it. I was the desert and you were the rain. I desperately needed you, so I thought, but in all reality I could survive the dry. You were the life guard, and I was the kid in the pool, I needed you there, so I thought for safety and closure reasons but the floaties kept me above water fine with independence, There was a connection, at least I thought, but you chose to think otherwise. I saw the fire and connection but you saw the air and forgetfulness. I thought we could remain friends, you chose to remain enemies with an awkward attitude. I still love you, gosh I do, but we all have to move on. You gave me the sense of closure I needed, yet you destroyed that. You destroyed the feeling I had. You made me feel small, and weak, yet i grew, I'm stronger, thanks to you I've built a wall around my heart that no one can break, I've made higher of my standards. You gave me bad memories, but dang some good ones too, just like the good ones, the bad ones still play the Important role as well. Just like the piano quote. You were my person, so I thought, but we often "over judge" or "assume quickly." After all, I wanted to say thank you, while you thought you were hurting me, you were making me stronger and Independent. Thank you for that. Being around you is like being at a grocery story with no Groceries, bags, or buggies. Pointless and time consuming.