Tickets To Neverland

Chapter 1: Green Cotton Candy and Introductions

"Oh c'mon Fred! Don't make me do this! Don't sell your soul to the devil aka Maleficent aka Laura!" I whined and stomped my feet. People say that Disneyland is magical and it's the place filled with fairytale happiness. Well you haven't seen what's behind the gates before the place opens.

Right now, I'm on Fred's (manager) back pounding on his chest while still managing to hold on to him for dear life. This is the third time that this incident happened this week. Why am I pounding on his chest and acting like a six year old who didn't get the flavor of ice cream she wanted you ask?

Well, I've been assigned to work as Tinker Bell meaning I'm forced to wear a sleeveless, tight green dress that barely covers my boobs and butt. Isn't this supposed to be a child's theme park and not a Magic Mike show: Disney edition?

"It's not that bad Erin. It could do without the leaf dress though." annoying, perverted Toby who's dressed up as Aladdin says while checking me out then looking at my Tinkerbell costume.

"Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me niether." I said flipping him off while still trying to hold onto Fred. But with my lack of balance, I slipped off of Fred's back and landed on my butt with a thud. "Oww." I mumbled.

They all look at me wierdly and Fred goes on and says, "Okay, well that settles it." he says while clapping his hands together, "Erin, put on your Tinkerbell costume or no paycheck for you. Everyone else, get ready for a hectic day. You have 30 minutes until you have to be at your spots. Lexi, I better not see you over at Toy Story land making out with Jake (aka Buzz Lightyear) behind the potato head props. You better stay at your frozen castle."

Lexi, the frozen bitch queen is a minion of Presley's. Presley the snarky nuisance who plays Snowhite which is ironic considering that she is so not the helpful kind when it comes to us "dwarfs" she calls us.

Lexi isn't the sharpest icicle. I think she might've hit her head on the ice when she was little because who would willingly listen to Presley especially when you're dad is the reason why this place is standing where it is today?

I met Presley at auditions and she "accidentally" poured the remainder of her vanilla extra pump of whatever fancy frappachinno on me so let's just say someone "accidentally" stuck a caramel apple to her head from the snack bar before she had her auditions.

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I'm at Pixie Hallows with the other fairies who's gossiping about all the cute guys they saw so far. It's so hot today, and I can feel myself slowly dehydrating to death, but I got bills to pay and this is the only job that's closest to my college and pays good money. I guess I'll give Disney my death wishes later.

I mentally roll my eyes, still stuck on the costume situation. Not every girl wants to have a typical Halloween dress up every damn day. Can't I dress up as Elsa or Anna? Heck, even the moose will do. Their "Frozen castle" is the only place that has air conditioning. Oohh! Or better yet, I'll dress up as Chip or Dale. Those lucky bastards get to hide in the ice cream freezer at the parlor all day because let's face it. No one wants to meet a knock off version of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and his back up who's talent is to eat nuts all day.

Throughout the day, kids are jumping around with ice creams and cotton candy in their mouths and then throwing it all back up from the rollercoaster rides. Oh what a great place to be. (note the sarcasm) I've been bombarded with moody, hormonal, immature boys and parents taking pictures of me and their sweaty, sticky children just so they can have their perfect family picture memory.

I've been here for three weeks now and I've learned a few things along the way. There's the small things I've learned like how I get free disney passes, or that I don't need to pay for expensive college dorms because they provide you dorms here for free, or that I shouldn't buy internet here cause it's sucks. But, I've also learned some things that has deeper truth. For example, there's 2 types of families at Disneyland.