Bruised and Scarred [short story]

Elucidation: Looking Forward

elucidation

noun

1. explanation that makes something clear; clarification.

It's been a year since I first published Bruised and Scarred, and with 2016 approaching, I've decided to clarify some things about this story. 

But before I do that, I'd like to thank each and every one of you who has read, voted and commented on my story. I can't express how grateful I am for your support, and I hope that my writing has at least touched your life in some way or another. Thank you so much for being the driving force in my life, and thank you for thinking me worthy of your support. 

Bruised and Scarred started out as a vent. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I never intended for it to become a short story, and I merely wanted to write it to release some of my frustrations. However, as I wrote, and as I began to feel calmer, I realised that I could take it in a different direction.

Instead of making it purely about depression, I wanted to make it about hope. I wanted to show that depression is not the end of the road. You will carry on. You will get your happy ending. Why? Because depression does not, and never will, define you. 

I know that it's harder than it sounds. I know that sometimes, you feel like you don't even want to open your eyes because you can't bear to face the world and all its problems for another second. But just as I know that, I know that it is not the end. It will never end there. There are people out there who care for you, who will be there for you. And to those out there who are struggling, I am here for you too. If you ever need to talk, you can just DM me. I will always be there for you.

However, the thing with Bruised and Scarred that irks me until now is how it was written. I remain proud of it, but I am aware that it will have to go under some heavy editing, which I do slowly. There are many issues about it that I have never addressed, which is the reason for this.

So, here it goes. 

The main character is someone who is very dependent. Her relationship with the love interest was not a healthy relationship. She loved him purely because he was there for her, and reached out for her. That kind of concern and affection was something completely novel to her, and as such, she mistook it for love. A relationship like theirs, which was built over the span of a few days, would never have ended up well. I fault myself partly for this, because I should've expanded more on her character and her past. Bruised and Scarred ended up centering more on the romance aspect and not the reality of depression, which is something I never wanted. This is the reason for the bonus chapters. I wanted to remedy that, and show more of their pasts, as well as how you can move on. 

The main character's love interest was never supposed to end up with her. They would have worked out as friends, but never as lovers. He took an interest in her because of fascination and a want to help her. He did love her, as she did him, but not in the way they thought their love was. In a way, his death was beneficial to her. He opened her eyes and helped her, allowing her to gain the strength to pull herself up and soldier on. A common mistake we always make is that we think others can 'fix' us. That is completely wrong. We are the only ones who can 'fix' ourselves. 

I never gave names to the main character and her love interest because I wanted the reader to be able to connect with the characters better. By giving a name, it would've become just a story about someone else. There would always be that distance, that detachment that comes with naming the characters. I didn't give them names so that the reader can believe in the story and believe that they, too, will have their happy ending. And at the end of the day, that is the message I always wanted to convey. That everyone, no matter their circumstances, will always get their happy ending. 

The romance was never meant to be a pivotal part of the plot. I admit, it was a mistake which I definitely will do my best to remedy in editing. However, the romance was meant to show that we can find love even if it seems unlikely. While the main character and her love interest didn't have the most ideal, or healthy, of relationships, the love still gave her hope. As such, I don't regret having the romance aspect, though it definitely needs to be toned down. 

The message I wanted to pass is that you can, and will, make it through. Depression, while it may seem all-consuming right now, does not spell the end. There will always be something for you to look forward to, someone who will guide you and support you. And if there's is no someone, that someone is yourself. You have the power to stand up, you have the power to fight, you have the power to turn your life around and make it what you want it to be. Nothing is set in stone. We can change our fate, and we can make ourselves happy. 

You can do it. You will do it. You will make it through, trust me. There is always happiness for each and everyone of us. It's just waiting for you to reach it. Don't give up hope, okay? I believe in you. And I know you can believe in yourself too. Find your Thomas, your Cadence, your Callum. That's your future, and it is a future that is promising. Keep holding on, and I know you'll make it through. 

lots of love,

cloe :)