let me kiss your scars

chapter 6

Grace POV

I shouldn't have said that.
I hope he didn't pay attention to that, but in all honesty...I'm not fine,I'm not okay, or whatever.
I haven't been for such a long time, and the way I've been handling these things in my mind that are making me go crazy is pitiful. I'm pitiful..

I day dream for the rest of the time everyone else if eating.

"Grace..?"
Alex waves his hand in front of my face a few times.
"Wh-"
"Everyone finished eating...you seemed to zone out or something, but I didn't want to interrupt."
He says shyly
"Oh...oh! sorry I didn't notice. I just have Alot of my mind-"
I prevent myself from going any further into that sentence. I know it wouldn't end well if I continued.

He looks down at me and holds his hand out.
What is he doing?
Is he gesturing me to hold his hand?
I high-five him confused.
Alex chuckles lightly.

"Follow me"
He says as he grabs my hand.
His hands are so big..

"Whoa"
I'm pulled upstairs and into his room where music is playing on a low volume, and it's relatively clean..

"We didn't get to talk much, so I figured that me and you could come up here, and chill out...while our mum's are talking."

His British accent just now registers into my mind.
'Mum' haha.
I mock him in my mind as I nod at him.

"Okay so, grace?"
"Yeah"
I snap out if my thoughts.
"How old are you?"
"I'm fifteen, You?"
"Oh sweet! I'm sixteen"

He's older than me.

I can see him start to worry just by looking at his eyes.
What's wrong with him?

"When I said...that you were fine at the table, you said 'I wish.' ,what do you mean by that? If that's an okay thing to ask. You don't have to talk about it."
He bites his lip and looks down.

He noticed...oh no.
What do I do?
Hell, what do I say?
I finally gather up the courage to spill a little.

"I have Alot going on. It's nothing really..."
"That's not true. it is something. I can tell."
Uh..
"I have medication to 'fix' it, so if medicine can fix it then it's nothing to really worry about."
"Physical, or mental"
Uhh..
"..mental.."
"What is it?"
"D-"
"Depression.."
Oh.
"How did.."
He cuts me off.
"I knew you did. I could tell because, I've been in the same place...also I saw your scars when you reached for the salad bowl at the table."

I try not to tear up, or run out of the room, or better yet the house.
Couldn't I just run away from this?

"Grace, those bracelets don't fool anyone."
"They fooled almost everyone, but you..."

I don't even know what to do anymore to mentally protect myself from him.

He knows now.