Anyone But Me #girlxgirl

C9: Bad Feeling

Zyana

"How's it going with Jay?" Sky asks me as I sit on my phone, watching Cici as she plays with her new teddy bear that she got for her birthday from Sky's little sister, Chloe. Cici and Chloe are basically best friends right now.

"Usual," I reply, scrolling through Instagram, until I get to a post that's "recommended for you" from the Instagram account lesbian_zyana. "Maria?" I ask simply, pointing to the photo.

"Yeah, I've gotten over her," he says.

"No, Sky," I smile, "did Maria posts this?"

"Oh," he says, laughing. "Yeah, I think so. She's really annoying." The photo is a picture of her face posted over my body with the caption "ew i'm so fat". It has around twenty likes.

"Her popularity is dying, too," I say, remembering how some of those photos got up to a thousand likes. "This photo was posted hours ago," I say. "It won't go up in likes."

"How many does it have?" he asks, playing tug-of-war with Nikki.

"Twenty two," I reply. "Why did you do that, Sky?" I ask. I don't want to start a fight, but I hate it when he avoids topics.

"The account?" he tries to clarify, sighing a bit when I nod. "I wanted Maria to like me."

"Why?" I ask. "She's not a good person, and why would it make her like you?"

"I dunno, Zy," he answers. "Have you honestly not done or said anything to impress or make Jay like you that you would take back now?" I pause to ponder that. I was kind of sassy to Sky, and I said some things to my mom because of Jay that I would take back now. Well, maybe I wouldn't. I'm not sure. "Besides, I didn't know she wasn't a good person. All I knew was that she was pretty, smart, and could sing."

"So any more news on Olwen's singing abilities?" I ask.

He smiles. "You made that up, didn't you?" he asks. "Cutie," he adds on when I nod.

Was that a flirt? I freeze. He knows I'm lesbian.

"Oh Jesus," he says, rubbing his forehead. "Sorry."

"I thought you liked Jay, or Olwen," I mutter. "Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. I'm sorry that I like Jay, and I'm sorry that I'm lesbian."

He gulps. "Well, it doesn't matter now," he says, clearing his throat.

Right. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all that my best friend is in love with me, but the love of my life isn't. It doesn't matter at all that some girl has a deep crush on him and he doesn't back, and it doesn't matter at all that the love of my life has a crush on that girl's best friend, who has a crush on me. It doesn't matter at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brae

"So she doesn't like you???" Olwen asks me. I shrug.

"No," I reply. "She said she'll never like anyone as much as she liked Jay."

"LIKED!!" she yells. "Past tense! It implies that she doesn't anymore..."

"I don't remember what she said exactly," I say. "And besides, she said she couldn't love anyone."

"Well, she doesn't know that! She's what, fifteen?"

I shrug. I don't want to argue, but Olwen is probably right. How can she know if she'll never love again? And besides, what even does she see in Jay? Maybe she isn't good enough for me.

I glance around the park. It's a really pretty day. Birds chirp loudly while children play in the huge field in front of us. "What should I do?"

"Ignore her," she says. "Zyana just wants your attention. She's playing with you, like Jay plays with her. It's like you're a puppet and she's making you dance. The only chance you have is to be nice to Jay, but be firm that you don't like her."

I wince. There's no way I can do this. There's no way I can juggle my family, Zyana, Jay, and starting school again.

My phone buzzes loudly. I pick it up.

hey frizz face

I show it to Olwen, crinkling my eyebrows. Who would send something so racist?

who is this?

mary

and before u ask, i got this # from da da (jay) who got it from zy zy

ur really racist

if u could see my face rn, it would be my not caring face

anyways do u <3 da da back or not

& how is this ur business

listen i'm busy rn so ur gonna have to go bye bye now

aw how sweet. bye bye, frizz face

I don't respond. What a jerk. Turning to Olwen, I see her expression twisted up in shock. This is the face she makes whenever people say anything bad to or about me.

"I swear, I am going to kill that little-"

"Ole, please," I say, using her nickname. She raises her chin in the air. "Please, don't. We're trying to keep the peace, remember?" I remind her, smiling as I say 'keep the peace'.

"I still don't believe you that Zyana is choosing Jay over you," she sighs.

"Maybe because you don't want to believe it," I say in reply.

"So what do you think about me and Sky?" she questions me.

Oh. Sky and her. Right. "Um... I think that you should take it easy and be sure that he likes you before you ask. I don't want you to get hurt, but if you really want to, go for it," I respond.

"Really??" she asks, her eyes lighting up. "I really want him to love me, and I really hope he already does! Do you think he does??" she inquires.

"I think that he either likes you, Jay, or maybe Zyana."

"ZYANA?" she yells again, making me wince. I hate it when she does this. It's her only flaw. Anyone can overhear what we're talking about because she repeats it louder. I shush her. "But she's gay," she says, furrowing her brow, and then unfurrowing it when I get up. She jumps to her feet. "Where are we going?" she asks.

"The coffee shop," I reply. "Where else?"

She follows me along the familiar path past house after house down the summer street and to the coffee shop.

"You never answered me," she says, putting her hand on mine as I'm about to open the door with it. "You think he likes Zyana?"

"They are best friends," I say. "A lot of close friendships end up with unrequited love or a relationship," I say. "Like ours," I mutter under my breath.

"Why are we going in?" she asks.

I point inside to the table with Jay, Zyana, Sky, and Mary at it.

"How do you do that?" she asks, emphasizing the first 'do'.

I tap my watch. "It's three in the afternoon. They always come here at three in the afternoon and nine in the morning. It's like their club house."

"Right," she mutters.

I notice something peculiar as we walk in the door. At first, I think it can't be true, but then... then I'm certain.

They're sitting at that table. The table that Zyana got rejected at.

I have a really, really, really bad feeling about this afternoon