Dear Maria

Chapter 8 - Band

Waking up for school that morning was a mixture between a pit feeling that it'd be the worst yet best day. I went through my normal school routine; going for a shower, getting dressed in an a-typical band shirt, skinny jeans and long sleeved jacket, reapplying bandages, brushing my hair after drying it, throwing on any suitable shoes, hiding the toast in my waste paper basket, and finally brushing my teeth. I guess the only thing that'd really changed about my situation was working it around Alex.

We drove to school instead now, Alex taking his car as he declared it was way too cold to be walking, even just a few blocks. This meant we didn't have to leave until the last moment, so there was always a plus. Driving along I was glad Alex had insisted on his car, the ground looked icy, and it certainly felt cold enough to be that way. Cursing to myself about not bringing gloves, we pulled into the parking lot. 'Are you okay?' I nodded, smiling to express my gratitude. We got out of his car, and I walked to the drivers side, next to Alex. He took my left hand, entwining our fingers together. My body fought not to have a panic attack, because people were surely staring. It was an odd sight, the hot new guy deciding to stick around a mute loser, and so him holding my hand was impetus to staring. I took a breath, walking up the steps and through to the main door.

We were in the same form, and so walked hand in hand through the dingy corridors. 'What the fuck Alex why are you holding her hand?' I looked up at Lisa, wishing I could someone shrink into my shadow. Her small group of 'friends' gathered up behind her, menacing to someone like me. I instantly dropped Alex's hand from a nervous tendency. Alex grabbed my hand again, squeezing it reassuring. 'Lisa how about you just fuck off, it doesn't matter to you does it?' She began laughing. My figure seemed to fall smaller and smaller, admittedly feeling intimidated by her, but then when did I not. 'Oh. She doesn't know does she?' I looked across at Alex from the ground, seeking some sort of explanation. 'Just drop it'. She waved her stupid fucking fingers at Alex, 'are you sure that's she's the one?' He took off down the corridor, clutching my hand desperately.

'Alex? What was that about? What does she mean I don't know?' He shook his head at me, brow furrowed in frustration. 'Nothing, just forget about it'. I sighed, thankful we were under the stairs to maths, an empty corridor at this time in the morning. 'How can I forget about it? She speaks like she knows you, like she knows something about me that I don't'. 'I'm serious Maria, it's nothing she's just pissy because I like you, a certain whole lot more than I ever will her, that's all. I promise I'd tell you anything you needed to know okay'. He rested his arm down gently on my shoulder, kissing me lightly. 'Come on, I guess we better get to lessons..' I nodded, walking back down the west hall, letting go of his hand when we got outside the door. 'Are you alright?' Was I? I didn't feel like it. I'd been in the doors for ten minutes at best and my mind had a pulsing headache surging through. I pursed my lips, shrugging and rolling my eyes just a bit. 'Look don't let what she said get to you it's nothing, nothing at all, so when we get home I'll kiss away all those worries on that pretty little face of yours'. This time I really rolled me eyes, a smile breaking out.

We were in and out of lessons in a blur. Nothing felt real, all too hazy and dream like for me to really feel anything. After a painful session in science once more, it was eventually lunch. We'd made a habit now of meeting with Zack Jack and Rian for lunch. We sat the same place as always, but I'd grown to crave the time spent there in school. It set apart enough time for me to unwind ready for the last part of school. I was slowly beginning to speak to the guys, they were supportive of me, and appreciated the scale of my issues. That you're clearly faking. 'Hey guys' all three heads didn't look up, just a chorus of 'hey Alex, hey maria'. Jack was fiddling with his phone, Zack was writing and Rian eating. We took our respective places on the bench, sitting down. 'It's so cold why are we out here?' Jack looked up at me. 'Well it's a pretty cool place to hang, you know, away from everyone. We prefer it over here'. I shrugged, clasping mine and Alex's hands together. 'What about if it rains?' 'Well then we put up some beach umbrellas we found in the band room. Hey Alex speaking of band, when's your cast off?' I looked between Alex and Jack. 'Uh two weeks I think? Is it two weeks? Yeah'. Jack looked at me, smirking his typical devious smile. 'And when did this little arrangement happen Maria?' His head jutted towards our hands. 'Oh uh, yesterday actually..' Both Zack and Rian stopped what they were doing, congratulating us both. I smiled, embarrassed. 'Okay but seriously Alex we've gotta practice! The gig is in like a month and you've been out for six solid weeks'. I looked at Jack, confused. Gig? I didn't know they were in a band. 'Yeah dude, we can't play without our singer and lead guitar' Zack chipped in, tapping his pen on the pad of paper he was writing on. 'Chills out guys, two weeks is enough to practise, come on we're only playing three songs, we're just a support!' Now I really was confused. Support for who? 'Whatever man but even if you just show up to sing, we need to get a plan of action I don't know how we're gonna pull this one of, we've played like what four times with you? As soon as that cast is off expect some intense pressure to practise' I gazed at Rian, listening as he finished speaking. 'Don't worry about a thing, I'll be sorted soon and that gives us another two weeks to get these songs fine tuned'. All four of them nodded. 'I'm sorry what gig?' Zack looked up at me, giving up writing and putting it back in his bag. 'Did Alex not tell you Maria? Don't take it personally, he never tells anyone about being in a band, get all embarrassed. We practically had to call his mom ourselves to get permission so we could play at this club in a few weeks - it's over 18s only, and all four of us needed parental consent'. I looked at Alex, watching his cheeks go a positive shade of red. The bruise from under his eye was just barely visible now, and despite a few people staring and commenting the first few days he showed up to school with it, cast as well, nobody really cared. 'Uh yeah, us four are in a band, All Time Low. We all started in Baltimore, just at different stages other than me and jack, and moved to LA at some point. Jack told me the three of them were starting a band, and were looking for a singer and lead guitar, I told him I had plans to move from my parents and so he suggested here so I could join. It was the main reason I moved to LA in particular'. Zack laughed, 'you'll never guess what jack wanted to call the band at first'. Rian and Alex began laughing as well, and it was jacks turn to have violet cheeks. 'Go on, tell her Jack!' He mumbled 'control,alt,delete my heart, but it was only a joke for a fake emo band!' I laughed at the name, admittedly it was good for a fake emo band, but definitely not if it was a real suggestion, like Alex insisted.