Memories...

Chapter 6

After we came back we ate all together and talked a little. Seeing everyone so tired and exhausted seemed kind of wrong to me. I felt bad being the cause of it, but there's nothing I could do about it now. After our late Dinner, I offered to do the cleaning, meaning taking out the trash, so everyone could have an early night, which the crew members gratefully accepted. The guys on the other hand insisted on helping me and watching a movie. I frowned because no one seemed in the mood to actually do that. "What?" Matt said. "I... I just think you guys are doing that for me. But you shouldn't do that. The last two days were a lot harder on you, than they were on me. I don't mind going to my bunk now." George placed his hand on my shoulder. "Harder on us than on you?" He chuckled. "You had the accident, love. Besides that we're fine. We're not only doing that for you, it's also for us." Confusion sneaked its way onto my face. Jordon chuckled softly. "To be honest we were really scared. Seeing you in that hospital bed, blacked out... You've never looked so... weak before. You looked like you weren't there anymore or at least not like yourself. That scared us. Then you woke up and as we thought everything was fine, you couldn't remember us. Couldn't remember what you were doing here and why. And once again we saw a version of you that we didn't know. When you fake-cried this afternoon and when you were singing, you looked like always. Like the Ali we know. So right now we're just happy to spent time with you. To be around the Ali we were so afraid to lose." My eyes got a little watery as he said nearly the same as Danny. Normally the guys would have teased him now for being so soft or called him a 'pussy', but they were silent. Well someone had to do it and since they didn't, I volunteered. "Oh Jordon you fucking pussy. Don't get soft on me now." I chuckled and the others laughed. "That's what we meant." George said smiling.

So in the end we watched Step Up. They guys didn't mind it and I just loved that movie a lot. I, of course, did not drool over Channing Tatum... Okay maybe a little. Tired we all dragged ourselves to our bunks and said our good nights. I put my ear bucks in and feel asleep as Jessie J's 'Flashlight' started to play.

I woke up to realize I must have pulled my ear bucks out since I only heard the slight snoring and soft breathing of the others. I took my phone to search for my ear bucks and looked at the clock. 3 Am. As I was about to place them back into my ears I heard someone pulling their curtain open. Peeking through mine I saw Dylan. He looked around like he heard something, probably me shifting in my bunk. He sighed and run his hand down his face. He didn't completely close the curtain this time and I saw the light of his phone screen shining down on him. I laid back down but couldn't fall asleep. I should talk to him in the morning about the accident... After a bit I peeked through my curtain again, only to find Dylan in the exact same position. I turned my music of and quietly walked over to his bunk. I pushed his curtain open completely. "Ali!" He whisper-shouted surprised. "You should sleep Dylan. It's late and you look like you haven't slept at all." I had noticed the bags under his eyes earlier already, but in the cold harsh light of the phone-screen they looked ten times worse. He smiled tiredly. "You should sleep yourself. You still need to rest." I tilted my head to the side. "You can't sleep." I pointed out. He avoided my eyes and didn't answer me. I studied him a bit. His face tried to hide every emotion, his body was slightly turned away from me. I sighed and slipped into the bunk beside him. Other than him I could kind of sit in the bunks without hitting my head. I leaned my upper back against the wall behind me. He didn't even looked at me. "You can't sleep because of the accident. You still blame yourself for my memory loss, that's why you keep avoiding me." He put his phone down and turned his head to face the wall instead of me. "It is my fault you were in that accident and it is my fault that you can't enjoy the tour you were so excited about, because you can't remember us, or the tour, or why and how this all started!" He clenched his fist, his whole body became tense and he talked through gritted teeth. He was obviously angry at himself. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him half way onto my lap. I hugged him and felt him relax a little. "You're right." He tensed again. "It is your fault that I was in the accident. If you wouldn't have been waiting in the middle of the road nothing would have happened. So technically everything you just mentioned is your fault." He shivered under my cold words. "But you know, what's not your fault?" He turned his head a little and looked into my eyes. "That I fell behind in the first place. That I jumped into the way, because I wanted to protect on of my best friends. That I landed wrong and hit my head. That I lost some memories because of that." His eyes teared up a bit and since I can't see people cry, mine did too. I hugged him tighter and continued. "What is your fault though, is that I get to fall in love with my best friends all over again. I mean who is lucky enough to have such amazing and caring friends as me?" He shifted till he lied beside me and could place his arms around me. I buried my face in his chest and hugged back. I sobbed a little and felt a tear of his hitting my left arm. "I'm so happy I have you guys! I'm so, so happy!" I must have woken up the others since silent and sometimes even sobby "We love you too"'s echoed though the bus.