On Your Side

“So cold, so cold. Baby, you’re so cold, so c…” *ring* Lying on my bed, earphones on, singing along to my favorite music when suddenly, the phone rings. Nobody’s home except for me, so obviously, I have no choice but to answer it. It would never answer itself. I picked it up and asked “Hello?” A voice coming from the device answered, “Hey, are you going tonight?” It was Lance, my boyfriend. “I really expect you to come. I miss you so bad.” He stated. “You silly. It’s not like you haven’t seen me for years.” I told him as I giggle. “We were just together two days ago.” “Why?” he asked. “Is it wrong for me to miss the girl of my dreams? I just want you to feel that I’ve always loved you and I never regret anything I’ve done for you. TIME WILL COME THAT WE MIGHT LOSE EACH OTHER, that’s why I’ll miss you for as long as I have the right to.” I burst into laughter, saying, “WHAT A DRAMA QUEEN? HAHAHA!” “Shut up! You’re a drama queen yourself also. Hahaha!” he said. “Kdaught. Well, that’s the reason why I love you, darling.” I told him, sweetly. “I know. I love you too. More than my LIFE. Okay? Well, I have to go. Still need to prepare. I’ll fetch you later at 4 P.M. Bye sweetie.” he said “Take care okay? Bye. I love you…” I bid farewell…not knowing that it was the last through the phone. Lance was right. The time will come that we might lose each other, and it did. Why do we have to make different choices? Why do we need to hurt both others and ourselves? I’m Mae. 17 years of age. My boyfriend, Lance, is 18. We’ve been together for almost 2 years now. It was December 3, Lance’s birthday when it all happened. I had to prepare myself…Well, actually I already did. Lance called four hours ago, 12:15 P.M. It was already past 4. Where is he? Suddenly, a ringing came from the door bell. Probably, it’s Lance. He’s late. I opened the door and to my surprise, I saw three of my best friends, Erina, Lin, and Sho. What? Wait, where’s that guy? “Mae!” They shouted. “Get in the car!” Erina commanded. “But wait! Lance said he was going to fetch me.” I shouted back at them. “Lance told us he had to fix a problem about the party, so he asked us to go and fetch you.” Lin explained. “But he promised.” I told them. “Did he really?” Sho asked. “Or maybe YOU’RE JUST ASSUMING that he did?” That’s right, he never promised me. He just told me. “Oh…right.” I sighed. “Well, let’s go! He’s waiting for you, so hop in! We must not waste time. We can’t bring it back.” Those words that just came from Erina’s mouth ringed in my head. WE MUST NOT WASTE TIME. WE CAN’T BRING IT BACK. She was right, but I never listened. I never thought that it would come to this. I never thought that one wrong decision would lead to this madness. After 15 minutes, we arrived at the party. I searched for Lance and asked the people where he might be, but no one knows where he is. Well, that’s weird. It was supposed to be his party but then he’s not present to celebrate it. I’m starting to worry, so I texted him. “Where are you? This is your party and yet you’re not here?” but he did not reply. I sat on the corner. I waited for minutes. I sent the same message again twice, maybe even trice, but still, no reply. I have nothing to do but wait. Minutes came passing by. Suddenly, I remembered the day when we first met. I didn’t know why it just came, but then I smiled, reminiscing the day when I was all alone sitting in the school shed, listening to music that other people don’t seem to like. Suddenly, I heard this voice. “Hmm. That song…I thought I was the only one who liked it.” It was Lance, talking to me for the first time. “Who are you?” I asked him. “Oh. Hi, I’m Lance.” He stated.

“Yeah? Okay.” I told him. “Uhmm…yeah? So… is that your name? It’s cool huh? Hahahahaha.” He told me jokingly. “Oh, sorry.” I apologized. “I’m Mae. I’m just not used to talking to guys.” “And I’m not used to seeing other people listen to music I like.” He said. “Well, it’s not yours though.” I said. “I know. That’s the problem with us people right? WE GET SO USED TO THINGS THAT WE START TO BELIEVE WE OWN THEM.” For the first time of talking to him, I was speechless, left with nothing to say so I just agreed with him. I didn’t know why, but he has a certain charm. A charm that made me fell for him. Days passed. We were always together, listening to music we share. We cared not of the people around us. We were so happy. 4 months later, Lance and I became…”us”. One day, Lance was absent. I felt so alone. But then, Erina approached me and said, “Here” “What is this?” I asked. “Lance asked me to give this album to you.” I went home immediately after school and listened to the CD. I read what was written “On Your Side” I played it. Then, I received a message from an unknown number, “Track 12” it said, but I did not care. I just kept on listening. I fell asleep. “Take it easy. Baby, we could make it right…” These words coming from the song’s chorus woke me up. But wait…I don’t have time to listen to this. I’m late for school! Oh my glob!! I rushed, took a bath, brushed my teeth, dressed up and went to school. Oh crap! My hair! It’s so messy. Awww. I knew for sure it was gonna be a bad day, but I was wrong. “Good morning.” Huh? Who was that? Never mind. I have to keep going or I’m gonna be so dead. But then, “GOOD MORNING PRINCESS!” someone shouted. I looked up. It was Lance! He’s late as well. “You look so beautiful with your hair!” he added. I know he was teasing me, but it felt so sweet. And that made my day. I got to him. I asked him why he was absent the day before. “Nothing. Just had to fix some family issues.” He answered. It seemed like he did not want to talk about it, so I just hugged him. “I LOVE YOU!” “Yeah, I know you do.” I told him. “I LOVE YOU!” “I know.” I added. “I LOVE YOU!” “I know, okay?” I shouted back. But, wait. Lance? Oh, it was for real. I was so gripped with all the memories that I forgot all about the party. “I LOVE YOUUUU!” he said it again, but what is this? He’s not addressing to me?! Who’s that girl he’s talking to? No! Don’t tell me… “I knew it!” I shouted. “Oh, there you are, sweetie. I was looki…” I but in before he could even finish. “Don’t you ever call me your sweetie again ‘cause we’re done!” What? Done? How could I say those words? We’re done? Huh? Ohhh. Whatever. “Wait, you don’t understand.” He said. “I don’t have to. I already know.” I dumped him right in front of many people…on his birthday. I went home. I turned the music on, upped the volume, and shut down my phone. I didn’t have to cry. I just have to rest. So, I fell asleep. It was so hard, but I kept my feelings. Days passed that I didn’t looked at my phone. I didn’t read the text messages, never answered his calls. He was just playing with me. He didn’t even drop by to explain, so that means, WE ARE OFFICIALLY DONE. But then, it all felt crazy. I feel like there’s something piercing a hole in my heart. It stings. Wait, what’s that? Oh. The girl Lance was talking to that night is in front of our house. What? Why is she here? “Let me in. I have to explain everything.” She said. “I don’t care!” I shouted back at her. “Look, this is all a misunderstanding. Let me in, please. Lance is leaving.” Huh? Leaving? But where is he going? Out of curiosity, I let her in, and then she explained right away. “You got it all wrong. Lance wasn’t cheating on you.” She said. “But I saw it clearly. I saw it with these two eyes of mine.” I told her. “You know? Things seen don’t explain everything. Sometimes, we are so blinded that we become very excited to see things, and conclude them right away. You were blinded by the truth. ” The girl said. “I don’t believe you.” I told her. I was full of doubt. “He was flirting with you.” I added. “You really think he was? Hahahaha!” She asked. Just when I thought this conversation was leading to nowhere, pointless and full of lies, she stood up and said, “Look. I can’t be flirting with him, because I’m already engaged for 3 years now. And

we’re getting married next year. Lance and I met in San Francisco when he was 11, and I am 15. At first, I became his tutor, but then we became friends. Actually, I am one of his best friends.” “San Francisco?” I asked. I never knew anything about San Francisco. Why would he keep that from me? Then she answered me, “Yes, and now he’s going back. Their family had talked about going back two years ago. They have fixed all the papers and his passport was ready. They were supposed to fly to San Francisco back then, but he asked a favor. He asked his parents if he could stay and finish high school here in the Philippines, because of a certain reason. That reason was you.” “Going back? But why didn’t he tell me everything.” I asked with confusion. “He was afraid of letting you know. He just wanted you to be happy.” She told me. “But last evening, what was that all about?” “He asked me to help him” She said. “For what?” I asked making myself even more confused. “For his proposal...” Oh…now, it’s all starting to make sense. And then, she added, “He wanted to take you with him, but he knew you can’t, so he just prepared his proposal. He already planned everything. He already planned marrying you, his fiancé, when he gets back after 5 years. But then, you dumped him, unexpectedly. And that was not part of his plan. How could you be so selfish?” She was right. How could I be so selfish? What have I done? “I see that your phone is off. Turn it on and that would explain everything. I have to leave now. And he wanted me give you this.” She said and gave me a piece of paper. “Take care.” She said. I quickly turned on my phone. 44 text messages, 17 missed calls, all from him. I read them. “Please listen, you got it all wrong.” “Let me explain please.” “Answer my calls please, you have to hear me.” “Just please, everything I did was all for you.” Reading these texts made a pounding in my heart. I kept on reading them. “I’m so sorry. I must’ve made a mistake.” What? His mistake? All throughout he still thinks this was his entire fault? “Please know that I love you, with all my heart, ALL MY LIFE. I should have told you back then, the day when you were so beautiful with your messy hair, that we’re leaving. I will never forget that day. I have to go now; I will miss you so bad. Please remember to…” That was the last text. But how come his last words would come unfinished? Oh. I almost forgot about the paper. I read it, but all was written is, “Chorus Track 12. I thought we could make it right.” What? It didn’t even make sense? But then, I remembered the CD. I immediately played it, skipped to Track 12. Now, it all makes sense. How could I be so selfish? How could I decide all of this? How could I do this to the guy who just loved me? I listened to the song’s chorus. “Take it easy. Baby, we could make it right. Girl you know my love is always ON YOUR SIDE. Rest your eyes tonight.” Listening to this, I noticed a droplet near his signature. A teardrop. He cried? And it didn’t dry out yet? That means he just left. I can’t hold my emotions anymore. I poured it out. How can I be so stupid? I tried to call him, but it did not work. Now he’s gone. I have nothing left to do. If only I could bring back the time, but I can’t. If only I haven’t made that decision, but I did. Now all I’m left of him is this paper, the memories, and this song, which served as his last words for me. This is the hardest goodbye I have experienced, but I never made. I will miss him. I will miss him so much. My bridges burned down. I have nothing to do. All I have to do was just…cry. Cry and regret all about my stupid actions. Just when I was so wasted, I received a message from an unknown number. “…miss me. I will always be with you. Always be “TRACK 12.” It was from the same number from before. The same number when Lance came back from being absent 2 years ago. Does this mean that…?

Note: Please do listen to the song. It was sung by A Rocket To The Moon. Thank you :DDD

©TheJanSyndrome ;)