I'll Be Good | Kylo Ren X Reader

1

I thought I saw the devil, this morning
Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue
With the warning to help me see myself clearer

He couldn't face his own self in the mirror anymore. He sickened himself, he was another monster that terrorized the innocent. Kylo angrily smashed his mirror with his bare fist, shards cutting into his hand. He slowly stumbled back to his bed, using his now bleeding hand to shove the melted and scorned helmet off it's pedelstool with an empty thunk as it hit the floor. She changed everything, yet he just couldn't, for the life of him, forget her and if he could, he'd do it all over again.

I never meant to start a fire,
I never meant to make you bleed,
I'll be a better man today

But he hurt her, he hurt the most beautiful being in this galaxy. This was not how it was supposed to be. She was so stubborn, she wouldn't taint herself with the dark side even if it cost her her life. He couldn't bring her to his side, so the only way to have her, his for him to change. Kylo needed to be a better man, for [Y/N].

I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the times that I never could.

He arrived at the first place he met [Y/N]. He had a feeling she'd be here today. Kylo brought no weapons, and wore no mask. He had no armor of any kind. He was exposed and weak, all for her.

"Kylo?" A voice as sweet as angels rang through the air, she was here.

"[Y/N]..." The longing for her was evident in his voice. It was almost as if he said 'I missed you, I need you' in her name alone. The trees and snow around them seemed to listen to their words, but never to speak them as the air went thick with words not spoken.

Kylo took in her figure, she was still ever so beautiful, but he wanted to scream out in sorrow when he saw her hand, wrapped in clean bandages. They hid the wound he inflicted upon her, the biggest regret he had.

"Kylo, what are you doing here?" Her voice quivered as she looked at his broken, defenceless state.

"[Y/N], I...I don't want to be like my grandfather, I don't want to be like anyone. I just want you. I want you so much it hurts. I can't seem to go a day without regretting every step I take and ever took." Kylo began to stutter out whatever words he could. He had to convince her of his love, how much of a wreck he was without her.

"Kylo, I-"

"I'll be good, [Y/N], I'll be good! I'll join you with the light, I'll love the world like you do, please" now desperate, Kylo stumbled closer, just wanting to hold her close, to smell her intoxicating scent of a fresh spring rain, "for all of the times I never was, [Y/N], I'll be good!" Passion, affection and distress could be seen in his words and actions.

"How can I trust you?" She already did, he could tell. She was just doing her duty, going through the motions of being a leader. Really, she wanted to run into his arms and cry in longing and fear of not being with him. Yet, she could not she had to do this, right?

My past has tasted bitter for years now,
So I wield an iron fist
Grace is just weakness
Or so I've been told.

"I know my mistakes, before, my actions were because I thought fear was true power. I was told that having mercy or grace, made you weak. Now, now I know that's all a lie" Kylo choose his words carefully. Even though she believed him, he couldn't make her fall into disbelief.

I've been cold, I've been merciless
But the blood on my hands scares me to death
Maybe I'm waking up today

"I've been cruel person, sparing no one, but now it scares me. I-I don't want to do it anymore, oh God, [Y/N]," Kylo reached out to [Y/N]'s face, wanting to hold and caress it, "I don't want to do it. This darkness it made me kill my father, and," Kylo hesitated, "it made me hurt you."

[Y/N] could no longer hold back the tears brimming in her eyes. She took shaky steps towards Kylo, afraid that if she went to fast he'd disappear.

I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
I'll be good, I'll be good
I'll be good, I'll be good

The pain, longing, shame and relief flooded the air between them. Kylo desperately took hold of [Y/N], burying his now tear stained face in the crook of her neck. [Y/N] clutched to his robes and let out tears of her own as they both sank to the ground.

For all of the light that I shut out
For all of the innocent things that I've doubt

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! [Y/N], for all of it, I'm sorry."

For all of the bruises that I've caused and the tears
For all of the things that I've done all these years

"I'm sorry for all the lives I've taken all this time,"

Yeah, for all of the sparks that I've stomped out
For all of the perfect things that I doubt

"I'm sorry for all the people I hurt, all the families I've torn apart... Oh God [Y/N] I'm so sorry!"

I'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the times I never could.

"I'll be good, I'll join the light, I'll take on the burden of all these lives I've taken-" Kylo was soon cut off by [Y/N].

"Please don't," [Y/N] mumbled, "please don't take the burden on by yourself. I'm here now okay? So please, depend on me. It won't make you weak, it makes you strong. I love you, I always did."

"[Y/N]...? Stay with me, please. I love you. You are the most beautiful being in the universe, I can't stand a day without you. I want to be strong by your side so please, don't ever go" Kylo cautiously spoke. This much emotion was not normal for him. [Y/N] had cast a spell on him, she makes him cry in anguish at the thought of being unable to have her. He hates it, but simultaneously loves it.

"Let's go home Ben," [Y/N] gently spoke, "let's go home."

Ooh oh oh
Ooh oh oh
For all of the times I never could.

Yay, done! So how cha like it? Kylo is kinda ooc but I feel like when it would come to sumthin' like this, he'd be a dramatic crybaby oOpsie

-Admin Kanu