She's on the couch, her sister's couch. She stares blankly at the fireplace in front of her. The world behind her is silent and everything slows down for just a moment and she's in a tranquil state. A group laughter brings her back to the real world and the reality hits her in the chest, causing her to lose her breath. She looks down at her untouched red cup filled with a yellow liquid, possibly beer. She didn't want to join the party downstairs but her sister basically dragged her out of bed and placed her on the couch that she has been sitting on for three hours now.
The music is so loud it's giving her a migraine, the party hat is too tight around her chin it's almost suffocating, the room is filled with people it's making her feel small. Instead of giving into her usual breakdowns she exhales, places the mystery drink on the coffee table, takes off the 2016 party hat and grabs her purse and is out the backdoor. But she only manages a few steps out when she notices how everything's stayed the same since the last time she was here yet everything has changed.
The tree hasn't grown since last time. The bench is still in the same spot, the same crusty old grill is standing right next to the same swing set. So many memories here, way to many flood through her head and she sits down on the steps of the back door because it's all to overwhelming. She places her head in her hands and breathes slowly shaking her head as she does it. She reaches for her bag and grabs her cigarettes. She's sitting there on the doorstep, smoking her last cigarette. She hears distant fireworks going off. She looks down at her watch. People need to fix their watches, they're five minutes early.
She walks out to the yard and lies down in the cold winter grass and looks up at the sky. She spreads her arms out beside her and grabs a handful of dewy grass. She imagines she's holding his hand, she turns to the side and get's a flashback.
She's holding the hand that belongs to a beautiful man. It's bright and sunny outside, maybe it's spring time. The man is laughing showing off his pearly white teeth but there's no noise. She remembers all his features, she could paint a portrait of him and not make a single mistake. But she was never good at drawing, he was though, he was good at everything. She always admired how much his sleek black hair glistened in the sun. He looks at her and she is mesmerized with what she sees. Two honey brown circles staring right into her eyes. She will never forget that feeling, the feeling of just the two of them. Like they were the last two people in the universe without a single worry in the world. He leans in to kiss her and she could feel her heart clenching.
They were laying on a checkered red and white blanket surrounded by flowers. The man squeezes her hand tighter and she can see children's feet running towards them. A girl jumps on the man and they both laugh. The girl has his eyes and his smile. A little boy is running around with a water gun. The man gets up and plays with the kids. He grabs the little boy and throws him in the air and catches him. A dog chases the family around. It's all so beautiful it fills her up with joy. The lady laughs but can't hear herself. She tries to get up, she wants to join them but she can't.
She now opens her eyes and looks up to see the dark sky above her. There are a few stars out. She can hear the guests in her house counting down.
10!...
9!...
8!...
She sees their faces
7!...
6!...
5!...
She hears their voices
4!...
3!...
2!...
She finally feels them there
1!...
"Happy New Year my darlings" She says aloud with a tear falling down her cheek.
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The guests scream inside the house.
It suddenly becomes bright and the crackles from the explosions echo through the wind. There are fireworks everywhere, covering the sky with a variety of blues and reds and yellows. Coloring the world again with a new beginning.
She smiles.
