All my Feelings (boyxgirlxboy)

All My Feelings. (chap 1 )

I was near the river and I told it ;

"I want some one to love. To hold me. To want."

And then I leaned into the rivers cold, rippling surface, for the river asked me for a kiss.

A kiss I could resist.

My eyes met the prettiest grey green eyes, they held me down as snowflakes fell freely onto my hair . They looked pained and confused. I wouldn't know I've avoided contact with anyone for years, I don't let them touch me I don't touch them ,well anybody but Jamie. But he's another story. That's why I live deep in the woods, my own little sanctuary.

But not far away or deep enough to shield me from insanity, the jumbled feelings, something you'd label life.

The eyes were saying something. They were alerting me of some trouble.

I jerk up right out the river, panting heavily, most of my top half soaked with icy water.

Suicide attempt three was a fail.

Damn those eyes.

Damn those eyes for taking my breath away.

Damn those eyes, they'd made me want to stay.

Damn those eyes.

I sat there until I felt pneumonia creeping into my lungs. I then got up coughing slightly, when I got to the cottage, after trudging through the white fluffy but thin blanket of snow I was engulfed by warmth.

My grandmother was here, she started a fire in the fireplace. And made a giant meal.

I sniff the air, closing my eyes, she baked as well, something with cinnamon, ooh! Cinnabuns!

I scamper to my room, undress quickly and take a hot shower. I stand under the scorching hot water and let my mind wonder....

Damn those eyes.

They always stop me, always interfere.

Always appear when I decide to breathe my last breath.

Damn them.