Chapter 3

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By the time lunchtime had rolled around I was completely drained. Sitting between Katie and Matt, I picked at the seeds on my burger bun. I had been thinking about Felicity Stevens all day and now my appetite was completely gone. It didn't help I was squished in the middle between my two best friends. It made the guilt that had lied dormant in my gut for so long to suddenly awaken. It was crawling its way up my body, leaving the sickening feeling of betrayal in its wake. It was scratching at my throat, twisting my gut and stinging my eyes. I was drowning. I had trained myself so well to ignore the consuming guilt that I felt everyday. I had expertly learned to ignore the stab of guilt I felt every time someone called my name. I just wanted to scream at them, " My name isn't Lexie! That's not me! I'm so sorry I lied to you!". But I never do. Nobody knows the truth about who Lexie and Sue Hampton are apart from the government and David. My mum told him when she realised that she wanted him to stay in her life. He didn't take it well at first but he's come to terms with it now. I cried for weeks after that, asking if that meant I could tell my friends the truth now too. But she refused. She repeated the same line she'd told me when we learned who are new identities we're going to be 'The less people who know who we are, the safer we'll be'. But recently the guilt has been getting worse. I hate that no one knows who I am. I hate that I lie to everyone every day.

"Yo, Earth to Lexie," Matt pokes my head, causing the sensation of drowning to disappear as suddenly as it had arrived.

I swat his hand away in annoyance. " What?"

"Kat was just asking if you're feeling ok," I frown slightly at his nickname for Katie as no one has called her that in years then shake my head to clear the thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired." I lied. Again. Wow, I'm a terrible person.

He shrugs, clearly thinking that's a good enough reason for me zoning out. I'm usually a quiet person anyway, preferring the quiet release of reading than actual social events like most people and I've never had anything against my own company. My friends have gotten use to the fact over the years that I tend to zone out mid conversation and stare into space.

Matt and Katie resume their conversation, speaking over me as I'm stuck in the middle between them. It makes me feel even more awkward and out of place than I usually do when I'm stuck in the middle of a conversation with nothing to contribute. So instead I turn and face Matt. He transferred from a school in Toronto three years ago and since then has lost his pimples and towers above most guys in school, including the seniors. His hair is pale brown, looking almost washed out in some lights, and is nearly always unkept. He once told me that he's never owned a hairbrush. I believe him. He towers over both Katie and me which comes in handy when the hallways get too busy. As I'm the midget of the group Matt always walks in front of me when Katie isn't there. That way he can cut a path through the torrent of students and I just cling to his shirt for dear life. However, If Katie is there, the sea of students part for her anyway. Now that never stops being weird.

Matt senses me staring and turns to face me, pushing his glasses further up his nose a slight blush creeps along his cheeks. "What? Is there something on my face?" He touches his mouth subconsciously and raises his eyebrow.
"Damn, you know I wish I could do that."

"Do what?" Now he raises his other eyebrow.

"That!" I point at his eyebrows before attempting to do the same. Matt begins to wriggle his eyebrows and a grin stretches across his face.

"What? What even is that Lex?" He finally notices the way I'm squinting one eye while tilting my head at a strange angle, attempting to copy his perfect eyebrow lift.

"That-is-not-how-you-do-it," He clutches his stomach while he gasps out the words between his laughter. The sound echoes around the small canteen and soon the tables around us turn to glare. A slight blush creeps on my cheeks at the sudden stares from the other students but Matt and Katie don't seem to notice. Matt's laugh is like a cross between a high pitched giggle and a throaty chuckle. He is the only guy in existence that could probably pull it off. Katie reaches around me and lightly thwacks him on his arm but the smile lighting up her face silently screams that she doesn't want him to stop. He mocks hurt before flashing her another dazzling smile. He got his braces off about a month ago and since then won't stop grinning like a crazy man. The atmosphere begins to heat up and my blush deepens at the sudden intensity between the them.

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