Lonely Shadow

lonely shadows

she lived a lonely shadow
who thought most deeply at night
under the crushing weight of darkness
when she held her silver knife
she drew relaxing picture as tears rolled her face
cause out there in the big wide world she felt she had no place
why was she even here?
what was her purpose to live and die when she just wanted to disappear
what would happen if she did?
would anybody miss her laugh?
or come searching through the night?
to see her sitting on the bridge wanting to take flight.
she sat with her legs swung off the edge
she just needed a little push
but she sat and she waited and she hoped with all her might
that someone will come and pull her back
say her name once or twice
but no one searched and no one came.

she would not be missed.
She longed for the day of taking off her mask,

to show what's hidden underneath,

a dark and twisted soul that cried,

for it to all be fine.

she waited in pools of tears,

for someone to hold her tight,

to look her in the eyes,

and say that she'll be fine.
But she felt no one was there.

Too afraid to go into the darkness and search and to bring her back to sanity,

To stop her mind from wondering absently.
She stood on the sidelines of her life, holding back her tears, that teased her so often, with words that said no one will care.

She felt she was never strong enough, never smart,brave or good enough.
So she stayed in the darkness, where she felt most safe. From evil eyes and judgeful souls.
Where she could think, uninterrupted..
And draw picture that brought no comfort. All this she went through feeling alone.
For she was a shadow who fought most hardest at night, holding her silver knife.