Anyone But Me #girlxgirl

C11: Aftershock

Zyana

"She's using you again," Sky whines to me as we sit in the park eating ice cream. "Just like she used Mary and you. I can't believe you don't understand."

"I understand what you're saying, I just don't believe you."

"Look, she broke your heart. She launched you into depression. She-"

"No, my mother launched me into depression."

He pauses, a pained expression on his face. "Well- that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that she helped ruin your life-"

"So did you," I shrug. "You did more than her. You outed me, and you made me miserable. You ruined me, Sky. I don't even know why I'm listening to you."

"You're not listening to me, that's the point," he says, raising his voice, "you're blinded by love for Jay! You can't even tell who she is."

"And you're not blinded by hatred? Honestly, I just think you're jealous."

"Of what??" he says, making his 'you're being unreasonable' and 'we're going in circles' face.

"Of the fact that she had the courage to ask me out before you did."

His slightly joking face fades away into a solemn glare. "Okay, that's not fair. One, you're lesbian. Two, she broke your heart and went out with another girl that it turns out she was just using to use you. Three-"

"I'm done with this," I say, raising my voice. "I'm done with you not excepting that people can change."

I storm out of the park, letting the sun beat down on me, and my already dry eyes cry fresh tears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't really have anywhere to go where Sky isn't. Our house is his house, the coffee shop is where he will almost certainly be right now... the only places to go are Brae's house, or Jay's house.

To be honest, part of me agrees with Sky. Part of me wants to give up on Jay. But I don't think I can. I don't think it's right to love her, but I can't stop myself.

She'll probably just break up with me and move on to dumb Brae by the end of the week. That girl... Brae is nice and talented, sure, but... she's not Jay. There's something about Jay that I'm attracted to. Addicted to.

I start off to Jay's house, following the familiar path before me.

I reach the door, ringing the doorbell. The familiar chime follows as I hear footsteps rushing down stairs to reach me.

"Zy Zy!" Jay says, throwing herself around me. I fall back a bit. She sure is either in love with me, or a very good actress. "Come on upstairs! I made Italian grapefruit sodas," she adds on. I race her upstairs and we it on her bed, drinking the sodas.

"So what's up?" I ask her.

"So I found a bit more out about Sky and the brother thing," she says excitedly. "I am adopted, and Sky's mom is my mom. She has three kids that I know of. Me, Sky, and Sky's sister." She takes a sip of her soda. "We're all with different fathers."

"So she had three boyfriends?"

"Well that's the problem. So Sky and I are about the same age, but we can't be twins, can we? I'm whiter than paper, and he's black, or at least mostly black."

"So Sky's mom isn't actually your mom?"

"Or Sky is adopted," she says.

"But that makes no sense. Why would she send her child off for adoption, and then adopt a child?"

I sip my soda. "Has she gone through break-ups in the past?" Jay asks.

"Um... she broke up with her boyfriend who's supposedly Sky's dad a few months after he was born, and then went with Dane's dad."

"Who's Dane?"

"Sky's sister."

Understanding floods her face. "Ohhhhh... got it. Well, maybe he didn't want the child, but didn't want her to get an abortion, so then she had me, and they broke up after she sent me out for adoption. Regretting it, she adopted Sky."

"Or she isn't your mom," I say, trying to simplify it. "How did you even find Sky?" I ask.

"Research," she says.

"What did you do?" I flirt a bit.

"What it took."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jay

Okay, so I have no idea what I feel for her. She's cute, I guess, but I'm kind of in-between sexual and demisexual. I didn't really feel anything for her when I said my crush wasn't her. The only person I really knew was Mary, who helped me move here. She helped me actually find Sky, too.

As for what I did to find Sky, I researched him online. I tried to search for anything to find who my family was, but I couldn't. From looking at baby pictures, I found out that I was adopted in February of my second year alive. The first picture I could find was in this tiny little town in Kansas.

I've always been crazy with computers. I hacked the database and found adults in an imaginable age range. Then I went to a genetic data center (yes, the government has those, I only know about them because I can hack stuff) and found three individuals who shared my dna in Kansas: Sky Boyle, Dane Serrell, and Olivia Schiferl. Sky, Sky's sister, and Sky's mom were those three people.

I convinced my parents to move to this tiny town in Kansas, Raymerrow. They finally agreed, and when we moved, we met Mary. She agreed to help me find Sky, and she's the only one who knows that I've hacked documents as big as missile plans.

She's the only one who knows who I am.

I owed her everything, and I pushed her away for this girl sitting in front of me, asking me what research I did. My whole life is flashing before my eyes.

"Okay," she mutters, slightly weirded out. "Sky was telling me not to be with you."

I pause. "Well, to be honest, I don't blame him. He has a crush on you, and I kind of was a bitch before." It's true. I was a bitch before I realized that I didn't actually love Mary. Or, at least, I hope that's when I stopped being a bitch.

"Yeah," she whispers. "I'm trying to ship him and Olwen," she adds on.

"Oh, Olwen! She's pretty cute," I say. "Brae's best friend, right?"

"Yup." She heaves a sigh. "This is all so confusing. You love Brae. It's obvious. Olwen loves Sky, who loves me. Brae loves me. Mary... I think she might like Sky. And I love you."

"That's not true," I say. "I don't really love Brae anymore." But when I think of Brae, her hair, her guitar, her face... I'm launched back into confusion.

I can't decide.