The Broken Werewolves: Forbidden Law (BxB)

Chapter 4: Howls of Pain

Chapter 4
Howls of Pain

Furion keeps howling at the lake, where I used to feel calm, but what we feel right now is beyond angry and hurt. It's much more than that. It feels like this time, the burden has become much bigger on my shoulders and I don't havge any way to lift myself up, or to use a force. I was already broken, but then the Great Alpha came and decided to be my mate, but then he rejected me, and my heart went from pieces to more broken pieces and it will take, I'm sure, hundred years before I get healed. The pain is too much and we can't handle it. Furion and I keep crying, slowly breaking and dying inside. It feels like every muscle of my body is being ripped away from me, but it's more painful than that. I can't even describe how I feel right now. All I know that even the tears can't say how much I'm in pain right now. I yell, shouting how cruel the world is and I look at my reflection in the lake and all I see is how pathetic and such a loser I am. Tears keep gliding down my cheeks and my eyes are very red and puffy from crying. Even my jaw hurts from crying for so long.

"It hurts so fucking much," I say as I punch my chest, as if that would reduce the pain, but to no avail, it only makes it worst. The pain becomes deeper and more vile. "I just want to be loved. I just want to be in peace. How come I never get that? Why did I fucking do to deserve this treatment?" I ask at nobody, then I look up at the moon. It's been hours and hours of crying and still, I'm not stopping. Tears keep flowing. "Is is too much to ask to live in peace? Is it too much to ask for love? Is it fucking too much to wish to live a better life? Better than what I have right now? I need some fucking answers!"

What did we do wrong? Furion howls and I cry harder. I don't know if the pain can get more worst. I let Furion take over my body and he runs freely in the forest, ignoring the world. That's what we want to do for now. Ignore everything and just take care of ourselves. Furion keeps howling and the other wolves start to howl with us - and I'm not those werewolves are not from my pack, probably sensing the pain I'm in right now. But I don't need. Even though I got rejected - much worst, both Furion and I still want the Great Alpha. I accepted the rejection so I must deal with this.

Furion keeps running, never stopping for once. His paws keep pounding on the cold ground and the fallen leaves keep rustling as Furion makes his way to God knows where. But I trust Furion. Right now, this is the only way we can cope when in pain. At least, we can try to relax even just for a bit. The moon is full right now, but even though it is, I never feel relaxed nor calm at all. I feel hundreds of negative emotions that I never knew existed in my heart. Furion howls again and the other wolves howl as well.

"Let them know how much we are in pain right now," Furion says in disgust and anger and all I can do is nod my head in agreement. I want the Great Alpha to know what situation I'm in right now. I bet the Great Alpha is dealing with this so perfect and calm right now. I bet that he doesn't feel anything at all. Now that I realize, the Great Alpha himself is really cruel and cold. I have seen the real him and it took me so long to realize that. Why? Because I was so busy admiring him that I didn't see his flaws. Now that everything is clear to me, I'll never forgive him. Never. "Remember the Soul Conversion?" Furion asks me and my eyes widen at realization. I begin to shake my head rapidly and aggressively, hoping that I'm not right at what he's thinking. "Please spare yourself from the pain, Kieran. I can deal with this."

"And I know that tale is never true! It has never been true!" I say to him but Furion, being the stubborn wolf he is, snarls at me and shakes his head.

"Kieran, I love you too much and I can't let you feel the pain. It's going to get worst and I don't want you to feel the pain that I'm going to feel later on." He states to me in a whisper, trying to convince me, but I just shake my head, not agreeing with him. "Please, just this one. Just this once. Be selfish. Try the Soul Conversion."

"I can't let you fade away," I say to him, beginning to cry again. "I can't. Furion, you're the only family I have and if the Soul Conversion is true, then I'm not going to do it. We're united in this. I don't care what I'm going to feel. I can bear with it. As long as we're together."

Shaking his head, he reasons again. "Kieran! Listen to me, you're going to do the Soul Conversion and let go of me. I don't want you to feel the pain. You've had enough. We've had enough. It's a win-win situation. If I fade away, then we're going to be mateless and I mean it would feel like we didn't have a mate at all. You will be able to love with the Goddess blessing you with a mate. You can be free. For once. You can run away with someone who appreciates and loves you with all his heart. You can obtain freedom by letting go of me and converting yourself into a human. If I fade away, then I would have to no longer deal with the pain and you as well. Please."

Furion voice is pleading and I cry harder, blocking the words he's saying from entering in my head. But it does keep entering. A tear slips in Furion's eye and I decide that I'm going to do the Soul Conversion, for the both of us. I slowly nod at him and Furion gives me a small but full of courage smile. Furion said I needed to be selfish for once in my life, and I'm going to take the opportunity now. With that, Furion heads to a peaceful place, into the woods and when we get there, I hear no sound but the rustle of the leaves, the soft melody of the wind and the bugs cricketing.

The words are embedded inside my head and I can almost feel the success. Furion lets me shift back and now I'm standing naked in the middle of the woods. Furion nods at me and whispers how he loves me so much and tears begin to pool in my eyes. I stare at the full moon and open my mouth, beginning to chant.

"Grant my wish oh Eternal and oh powerful God. Oh mighty Goddess, please guide my soul and I may find peace." At first, nothing happens and I shut my eyes. Then I feel the warm breeze of the air pass by me and I feel the presence of someone powerul around me. I can almost hear the God and the Goddess' words penetrating my ears through the wind. A conversation is happening through the wind and I feel light suddenly, as if the Goddess is hugging me with love and care, and then she whispers in my ear, a question. I never answer her question though, instead, I answer with nothing. At first, I thought the Goddess wasn't satisfied with my answer, and then she whispers again into my ear and I feel like my soul is glowing and then when I open my eyes, I see Furion in his soul form and he looks at me with sad eyes but there's still that couragious smile tugged on his lips.

"I'll see you soon, Kieran." And that's when I know that I'm fully human. And I feel tears flow down onto my cheeks. I feel pain once again, not from being rejected, but because of the decision I made. Then Furion's soul fade into the wind. The Goddess's question was Do you think being a human can fix you? I did not answer because I had no idea what would be the best answer, but I can never really predict the future. All I need to do is keep trying and mending myself, right? So I answered with silence.

After Furion has been seperated from me, I run, growing tired, through the forest and once I see the road, I try to run across the other side but then a car comes into the view, hitting me in my hips, making me fall down on the aspalt road. My head hits the road and I groan in pain.

The last thing I hear is a man's worried voice, and then my world becomes dark as I shut my eys and fall into the dark world I used to live.