Yuffie's Book Reviews

The Blade Itself - by Joe Abercrombie

The Blade Itself is a book I see often recommended to epic fantasy enthusiasts. It was a good book with some really immersive and exciting scenes, but I did have some major issues with the way it was constructed. I finished this book a week before I'm writing this review, so forgive me if I get some details wrong in this review.

The story is set between three warring nations. There'd recently been a war between two of them and now a third one is coming in to restart the violence. Up north it a completely uncivilized, barbarian nation where people travel in small bands and there's an extreme amount of violence. There's a king and government and all that, but the place has pretty much fallen to anarchy. I don't remember in full detail, but when I think "Northman" I think violence. Same with the nation of Gurkhul (sp?) in the south. Then you've got the civilized nation, The Union, somewhere in the middle. Each produces its own protagonist/pov character for the story.

From the north we have Logan Ninefingers, "The Bloody Nine", aptly named for his missing middle finger on one hand and all the people he's murdered and killed and defeated in the war. Now he's wanted by his king and on the run. His family was killed by things/people (I'm a little unclear on that) called Shanka, and in another shanka attack, his friends were killed and he was separated from them. Logan is wandering around half dead (he's always kinda half dead, getting into fights, just struggling to survive in his violent homeland) when a dude named Malacus Quai finds him and says he's got to bring Logan to Bayaz, the First of the Magi, a legendary wizard. Logan is kind of a simpleton and goes along with him. Then Bayaz takes him to the Union's capital—again, Logan doesn't ask questions. The Union had just been at war with the North probably a decade ago, so people are really spooked to see a Northman, a brutish savage with scars galore, roaming in their civilized streets. That's about it for Logan's story. He's kind of the big sweatheart softie, and he saved Malacus when Mal was sick and dying, so he's a pretty stand-up guy despite his bloody murder streak. We know he only killed to survive, or at least now he only kills as a means of survival, not for fun. He's got a good heart.

From Gurkhul we get Ferro, the most savage bloodthirsty character ever created. This woman got her family killed by one of the nations, can't remember. Union? North? one of them. But now she's out for revenge, and that means murdering every single person ever, including children. Like, I understand where she's coming from and her desire for bloodlust, but the moment she said she's going to kill every last person standing including women and children and civilians, she lost me. No sympathy for her. This is going to be a recurring theme in this review, so stay tuned.

In the Union we have two pov characters—Captain Jezal Luthar and Inquisistor Sand dan Glokta. Glokta is the greatest character of my life, so I'll save him for later and talk about Jezal first. Jezal is this young soldier who's never seen war, he's an arrogant, narcissistic brat. Think Gaston. he's training for The Contest, a yearly fencing tournament, whose winner gets glory and favor with the king and all that. Jezal falls for the sister of his friend/mentor, West, which is a problem because Jezal is a noble and the sister is a poor commoner. There's a bunch of romantic angst there blah. Jezal sneaks around with her despite West's demands to keep away from his sister. Angst.

Overall, Jezal is a narcissistic asshole who fawns over himself in the mirror, looks down on and degrages everyone if they're below his social rank. It was so weird because we'd get scenes of him being the victim or having some kind of struggle, and I'd sympathize with him. Then he'd sprout some moronic drivel of how gorgeous he was or how much better he was than everyone else, how he deserved everything in the world because he was a god. And then I was like f*** you Jezal, go shove a sword up your a**h**** and fall off a cliff. So reading any chapters in his pov were extremely difficult because he was so flipping awful.

Now finally we come to Glokta! He is hands down my favorite fictional character of all time. He was the reason I keep reading. Actually, side note, I read maybe the first 100 pages but it was getting so dull with stupid Jezal that I actually put the book down and started something else. But thoughts of Glokta wouldn't leave me alone, and I actually picked up the book and kept going. I'm glad I did because then the book really picked up and Glokta didn't fail to impress me yet again.