ignored ; cth

one

This is so weird.

Knowing that you're dead, but yet you still seem to think and act like the same person. The only different thing is that no one can see me or hear me. I'm literally just a fucking ghost walking around.

Right now I'm at my own funeral. Depressing I know. I hated funerals ever since mom's funeral. I hated the vibe, it was sad.

I'm standing next to Adam who's standing next to Autumn and dad.

They're greeting our other family and friends for coming to my funeral. Jacob came also. My current boyfriend I had before I died. He looks like a wreck, but I'm sure he'll get over me considering he was a fuck boy who cheated on me like thirty times, but that's none of my business since I'm dead. I'm surprised he even came.

Dad looked like he hasn't slept for days. He had dark circle under his eyes and his eyes were puffy. I feel so bad for my dad. He's done so much for us ever since mom died and now me, he must be fucking broken. He had to work extra jobs to get me into a university that I wanted to go too. Now it's all a waste.

Autumn looks awful. Her eyes are red and puffy. I noticed her hands were shaking because Adam had to hold her hand. I remember her saying that it's her fault, but I don't even know how I died and I need to know asap. Adam looked emotionless, but knowing him he's hurting inside. After this whole ghost shit I began to notice that I have a deeper connection with Adam and Autumn. I know how they're feeling and it's creepy, but useful.

Adam and Autumn are twins. They're both sixteen, while me I was nineteen. Adam and Autumn are totally different and it's ironic because they're twins. Adam is chill and the athletic one. He plays football, soccer, baseball, and lacrosse. He mostly stuck with soccer though because it runs in the family. Oh man I remember the soccer times.

He's the ladies man considering he's always talking about a girl while eating dinner. He's very sweet and gullible at times, but he's not a emotional person. So when he is he just shrugs it away. The last time I saw him cry was when mom died.

Now Autumn, she's very different from Adam as you can say. She's also chill, but not athletic. She used to play soft ball and soccer, but that ended during freshman year. She's the writer type and photography girl. She has a passion for art and music. She's shy at school and always has her nose in a book. The guys don't seem to notice her, but she's stunning. I'm not saying that because she's my sister. I'm stating the truth.

Currently they're putting my casket down into the ground. I was still playing with the rim of my dress and looking at the casket. Autumn was in tears and shaking. I felt her anxiety rising and started whispering to myself 'Adam grab her hand, Adam grab her fucking hand.' I open my eyes and see Adam holding her hand rubbing small circles . I sigh in relieve and grab his hand, even though he can't feel it.

After the funeral we all headed back home where we had family and friends' come over and pay their respects. I barely knew any of them, so why bother to come.

Jacob was still here which I'm so proud of him because this is the first time he stayed around. One time at prom he ditched me to go with his friends to drink. Fucking asshole.

People were talking quietly about me saying things like, ' Oh she was a sweet girl. It's so sad that she had to go. ' or ' She was too young to die. ' bull fucking shit.

Funerals make me upset because people come to pay their 'respect' because they knew me. In reality they never talked to me, were dicks to me, or were talking shit about me. Fake people man I'm telling you. That's why they always say that people don't care for you unless you're dead, which is sadly true.

I looked around to find Adam or Autumn. Everyone was scattered everywhere so it was hard for me to find them. I decided to go up stairs and see my old room.

When I walked upstairs I came across to see that my room was open. I walked towards the open door and see Adam sitting on my bed. I sigh and sat next to him as he's holding a picture frame of him, Autumn, and I.

" Why did you have to go Anna? Why? " his voice was cracking.

Is he about to cry?

I put my hand on his shoulder knowing damn well that doesn't help with anything, but I couldn't help myself. Seeing my baby brother cry after like 5 years breaks my heart.

" It was mom and now you. "

He set down the picture frame and ran his fingers through his fluffy hair.

" If only fucking Autumn wasn't so stupid to even date that guy, you wouldn't be dead right now. " he started sobbing.

Wait what? Date who? I needed to remember how I died that night.

I rested my head on his shoulder as he cries into his hands.

My heart is breaking slowly.

" Don't worry baby brother, I'll be watching over you until you're finally happy. "

He sigh and wiped his tears.

" I don't know how I'm going to handle this. " he said to himself and walked back downstairs.

~

Everyone was finally gone. Thank god, I couldn't handle anymore fake people. It's like high school all over again.

It was quiet at dinner. Adam was picking his food, barely eating. Autumn was eating slowly and dad was trying to make conversation, but it didn't go well. I felt the tension and it was bad. I don't want my family to fall apart.

Finally dad spoke up and asked, " They're bringing Anna's stuff tomorrow. Pick out what you want and then we'll throw the rest away. "

Oh no not my stuff. Okay Anna shut up you're dead it doesn't matter.

" I have her necklace with me, do you want it Autumn? " dad said quietly.

My necklace mom gave me. That mean a lot to me.

" Sure I'll hav-"

" No Autumn shouldn't have it since she basically killed Anna. " Adam said lowly.

Autumn eyed Adam and began raising her voice.

" Oh shut up like you even cared about Anna. You argued with her the night before she died over something fucking stupid. "

Adam dropped his fork and stood up pointing at Autumn, " Shut up! She's dead because of you! Of your stupid boyfriend that you snooped around with at night! You whore! "

" Enough! You two need to stop, it's no one fault! " dad yelled at the two twins.

Autumn had tears running down her face and still looking at Bryce.

" Adam you're grounded. " dad simply stated and continue eating his mac and cheese.

" That's not fair! "

" Life isn't fair. " dad retorted.

" I hate this family! " Adam punched the wall and stormed up stairs, leaving dad and Autumn.

Autumn was still crying, but ran up stairs slamming her door.

Dad rubbed his eyes and started to wipe away his tears.

" Oh Anna, please be safe and say hi to mom. I love you cupcake. " he whispered.

My heart is completely broken. My family is slowly breaking.

" I love you too dad. " I said walking towards him and put my hand on his back.

" Mom misses you. "

-

A/N: intense and emotional. Next chapter here we go.