Change

I’m far from okay!”, but if I did say those words they would just embrace me in a hug and sob into my hair saying “It’s okay baby you’ll work through it.” Something that is worse than those 2 dreadful sentences is pity. I don’t care who you are I don’t want your pity I don’t want you to stand there and tell me it’s going to be okay because I know it’s not going to be okay, at least not any time soon.

Yes I’m 17 year old Laura Marie Bell, the tough country girl who doesn’t shed tears or who is tougher than most boys on the varsity football team, but right now I feel like the weakest weakling in the whole entire world. I was never the one to go shopping with my mom or go to a movie date with some jock, no I was the girl who would rather spend the whole day in the barn caring for my horse Bob. Some say I’m crazy and others say I’m naive, but right now I don’t give a flipping fudge ball what the care.

For the last time in who knows how long till, I go out to my favorite place in the world, the barn. I grab Bob’s bridle and head towards the pasture. Bob is my 6 year old champion dapple grey gelding. I only paid $400 dollars for him and now that he is a trained champion barrel racing and pole bending horse he can easily sell for $2,000 dollars. 3 whole years of nothing but sweat and time paid off. I have decided to leave Bob here in Texas, because I need to start fresh in Oklahoma and the only way to start fresh is to leave everything behind.....for now.

It only takes two whistles before Bob is standing at the fence of the pasture. I easily slide the bridle in and strap the chin strap, I pull the reins over Bobs neck and jump on bareback. I start out at a fast walk and then graduate from there. I love the way the breeze fills against my face as Bob glides into a lope. The birds seem to ease the stress a little and since it’s the crack of dawn the sunrise is just icing on the top. I know I shouldn’t be riding right now because Mrs.Lacey Wheeler will be arriving anytime now, but I couldn’t resist since this may be my last ride in a while. Even though it kills me I’m going to pretend that I have never rode and pretend I don’t know anything about horses, why because thats what you do when you start fresh.

I hop off Bob and grab the reins as I lead him around the 200 acres of pasture we have. Oh how much am I going to miss this the way the sunrise shimmers on the dew just perfectly in the morning or how the humidity makes my hair all frizzy and the way the frogs and the bugs hum in harmony. But most importantly I’m going to miss my long morning rides bareback with my boy. “Oh my goodness Laura, get it together! You will not cry.” I mumble to myself. The tears began to pour out of my eyes. Bob nudges me with his muzzle and nickers loudly as if saying “it’s okay.” I rub my hand on Bob’s neck and forehead.

I decided to gallop back towards the barn and as if right on cue a red beat up Chevrolet drives into my driveway. A tall blonde haired woman stepped out of the truck and pulled the keys out of the ignition. They woman smiles when she sees me on Bob and comes up to the fence and opens it for me.

“Hello you must be Laura, I’m Lacey Wheeler.” the woman smiles at me and I quickly exchange the smile back. “Hi ya I’m Laura. I’ll just get off Bob feed him and put him out in the pasture then I will grab my bags and then I guess we are off to Oklahoma.” I tried my best not to sound to upset due to my recent melt down. I slide down Bob and lead him to the other pasture and let him loose. “What a beautiful dapple grey you got there Laura.” I nod my head and say “Thanks my parents got it for my 14 birthday.” the woman nods and smiles. I go grab the feed bucket and pour it into Bob’s trough.

I turn towards Mrs.Lacey and smile. “Would you like to come in?” I ask her. She nods and I open the front door. “My room is upstairs I have to grab my bags.” I walk upstairs and sit on my bed for the last time for who knows how long. I stare at the wall that holds all my ribbons, trophies, and belt buckles from all the rodeos. I guess I was in there longer than I intended because Mrs.Lacey came in. “Oh my you have so many beautiful ribbons and trophies and these belt buckles are magnificent.” Mrs.Lacey aww in amusement. “Thanks theses are from over the years mostly all from Bob and I.” Mrs.Lacey sits down on the bed next to me and smiles. “You known Laura you will fit in perfectly at our ranch we have tons of horses, cattle, and many more farm animals. If you would like since it seems like you are very fond towards Bob you can bring him along.” “Oh no Mrs.Lacey thats not necessary thank you for the offer, but I’m going to leave Bob here because when I move to Oklahoma I want to start fresh.” I whipped up the happiest smile I could. “Oh sweetheart starting fresh doesn’t mean you have to leave your pride and joy here. Onetime I when spoke to your mother she told me how much you loved that horse.” she patted my back. “See Mrs.Lacey I would really like it if you could pretend you never saw this stuff because I’m not ready to share this part of my life to the new people I meet. It will just bring to many memories and I don’t want stroll through memory lane anytime soon.” “I completely understand Laura, but tell me when and I will be gladly come and pick Bob up and all your achievements from rodeos.” I wipe a tear that manage to escape. “Thank you so much Mrs.Lacey. I guess I just need time.”. “Okay Laura whatever you wish, but I must say we better get on the rode if we won’t to get back before lunch.”

The ride to Oklahoma, my new home, was sorta quiet. I look over towards Mrs.Lacey and I see that she looks some what happy. “Mrs.Lacey if you don’t mind can you tell me who is all living here?” I try my best not to stutter. “Oh I don’t mind at all, right now it’s my husband, my son Travis who is 17 like you, my other son who is 7, and my nephew is also living with us his name is Logan and he is also the same age as Travis.” “Oh thats not a whole lot of people, I was wondering do y’all do any activities like rodeos?” I asked. “Umm not really we usually don’t have time, we mainly just do work around the ranch, but if you ever want to ride don’t think twice you can catch one of our horses and saddle up and ride, we have 500 acres of pasture.” I smiled at Mrs.Lacey’s offer. “Oh no that want me necessary but thanks!” Just thinking about horses and my past right now is making me nervous. I gripped onto my bag and put my headphones in my ear to listen to some music. I looked out the window, and saw a girl on her pony galloping in the pasture with her dad by the fence. A tear slipped out as I thought back to when my dad taught me how to ride.

I felt some one tapping me on the shoulder and whispering, “Laura were here it’s time to wake up.” My eyes fluttered open to find Mrs.Lacey smiling at me. I sat up and open the rusty door and stretched my arms. “Here let me help you with that!” Someone behind me spoke. “Oh okay thanks.” I turned around to find one of the most sexiest boys I have ever laid eyes on. The boy stuck out his hand, “I’m Logan”. I smiled at him and grabbed his hand and shook it. “Hi Logan, I’m Laura”. He smiled at me and than took my bag. I heard a noise coming from behind me it sounded like some one riding. I whipped my body around to see a  another boy riding up on a palomino mare. This boy was far more than hot he was gorgeous and mesmerizing. He had dirty blonde hair and from what it looks like grey blue eyes. His hair fell perfectly above his eyes and his grey tee shirt hugged his muscles just perfect. He was perfect. He hopped off the horse and walked over towards me. For some odd reason I wanted to jump on the horse more than talk to this gorgeous boy. The boy approached me and I reached up and rubbed the mares muzzle and in between her ears. “You have a beautiful mare, whats her name?” I kept petting the horse as the boy spoke. “This here is delilah, and I’m Travis.” he gave me a heart stopping smile. Oh my goodness I don’t even know this boy and I’m already drooling. “Hello and is she registered?” This boy  is so fine. “Oh um ya Delilah is registered, do you know a lot about horses?” “Well y-” I had to cut myself short because remember I promised to move on from the past so that meant know horses. “Umm not really I just read a lot.” For real, Laura read a lot I’m so stupid. I guess this boy thought that was funny because he started to chuckle. “Oh so your one of those kind of girls?”

What the heck does that mean ‘your one of those kind of girls’. I knew this boy was to good to be true he’s one of those cocky jerks.

I look in his eyes and raise an eyebrow “What do you mean one of those kind of girls?”

“Umm you know you act like you know a lot about something but you really don’t you just read about it.” He gave me a look like duh you idiot. “Uh well Travis for your information I do know quite a bit about horses thank you very much.” I gave him my best smirk I could pull off. “Oh okay if you know so much how about you show me your skills and get on, oh and I didn’t catch your name.”

“Well Travis my name is Laura and I don’t have time for your silly game so I think I will just go unpack.” With that I turned around and went inside the house.

Oh boy this is going to be a long summer....at least till I get to go back to Texas. I walked inside and I was stunned. In was big but not to big, very homy, the Wheelers had it dressed up western style. They had a big brown leather sofa and then a love seat that matched. In the center was a wooden coffee table on a cow hide rug. This house was amazing. I walked into the kitchen and found Mrs.Lacey washing dishes. “Well I’m glad you found your way inside Laura. How about I get Logan to take you to your room.” I nodded my head and said “Ya that sounds great.” Right on cue Logan came inside the kitchen. “Logan how about you show Laura to her room.” Mrs. Lacey smiled at Logan “Yes aunt Lacey.” replied Logan. He grabbed my bags and lead me down the hall.

“This is it”, said Logan. I smiled at him and spoke “Thanks”. Logan  walked out of the room and shut the door. I began to unpack. I open my duffle bag with horses and picked up some of my clothes, and packed them in the wooden drawer. After unpacking all my clothes I open my backpack up. The first thing that caught my eyes was the family photo. I pulled it out and I began to sob quietley. “Umm Laura...” I whip my head around to see who the voice belonged to.

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