Avantika And Her Quest

Worries and Resolutions

I contemplated Arjun's idea for the next few days. The idea carried merit albeit with a lot of danger. Arjun had left me alone to contemplate the final decision alone. He told me: "Avantika, I trust your judgment. But this decision needs to be made soon. Time is of the essence here." I had thought over the decision and I realized that this might be the best idea. I walked towards Arjun's chambers. I knocked on the door. Arjun opened the door. He looked worried. I thought that he would be happy that I had finally come to a decision and Arjun already knew that I would agree. He was never a person to seek permission. He would have twisted the situation, blackmailed me or manipulated me into agreeing with him but he liked me to believe that I had some control over the situation.

I went inside. Arjun looked at me and asked me, "Have you come to a decision?" I replied, "yes, I think this the only option that we have." At this Arjun's mood lightened up a bit. He said, "I knew you would say yes. I just wanted you to feel as if you had a say in it so that you didn't do anything rash to spoil my master plans." I just shook my head at him. I knew it. But all said and done I knew he would not have done anything about Avanti without my consent. He would have convinced me but I knew that the ultimate decision was mine.

Jesting aside, I could still see the dark cloud over his head, " is something else bothering you?" I asked. His mood turned grim again. His expression became guarded. I knew what would happen through years of knowing him. He would not tell me anything. He thought he would be protecting me by keeping me in the dark. I took a different approach. I got up and pretended that I was leaving the room. Arjun saw me and understood he couldn't keep me in the dark forever. Both of us knew word would spread around fast in the kingdom. I could feel that he had decided it would be best for me to learn of the news from him. Arjun started, "Avantika wait... I know this news is disturbing but don't panic. We will find a way out." I turned around. He started to explain, "the king of Chetiya has issued a warning to my kingdom. Either we surrender to him or we prepare for battle."

The gears of my mind shifted and my hopeless situation registered in my mind. Arjun looked like he understood my fears and for a moment I could almost believe that, but he wouldn't understand, no one could understand what I was going through. I felt much older than my age and the worry and fatigue of the past few days must have started showing on my face as Arjun started talking again, " I just returned from a conference held earlier in the day with my father and our ministers. Our country will not surrender. We have the privilege of a formidable fort and the element of surprise. We will fight them. With the oncoming battle we will have to leave the castle in disguise earlier. We will have to set our plan in motion earlier than we thought. To execute the idea will be a big challenge but we will manage somehow."

I looked at him with a sad smile and said: "Arjun I know you want to help me but in this situation as the crown prince, you should fight in this battle along with your father. I have dragged you and your kingdom far enough in this mess. You should focus on you kingdom now. I don't know what I am going to do."

Arjun looked at me and heatedly replied, "Avantika you have been there for me every time I needed you I can't leave you alone right now. Moreover I promised your father that I would take care of you." I just shook my head. One could trust Arjun to honour every promise that he made.

I said, "I know that you always fulfill your promises Arjun but you have done more than enough for me already. I relieve you of your promise, your dharma will not be compromised anymore. You should not leave your country alone in their time of need. Your country needs you too."

Arjun looked as if he could murder someone with his gaze alone, "Avantika I can't leave you alone. I have to protect you."

My anger knew no bounds at his statement. I fiercely replied, "I am no longer a small child that needs protection I can manage to survive splendidly on my own. I don't need anyone's protection."

Arjun looked pained as he said, "Avantika I know you can survive alone but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you go alone. I won't be able to live with my constant worrying for your welfare."

My eyes lost their fury and I unknowingly moved closer to him, "Arjun you don't have to do this. I will manage. Uncle Suryakant will be there for me. I don't want to be a burden or some duty to you."

Arjun's tone became hurt, "has it ever occurred to your wonderfully mature brain that perhaps I'm not doing this as a duty but because I want to. I care for you Avantika and if you don't come back from this I won't be able to live with the guilt. I am not trying to be selfless. My intent with wanting to come with you is utterly purely selfish. Do I make myself clear?"

I stared at him in complete silence. I couldn't believe that he could care this much about me. I had almost given up the hope that someone would care for me after my parents died and here Arjun was yelling at me just like my father did when I was being stubborn. Arjun realized that he may have hurt me and started to apologize. But I think I surprised him more than he surprised me.

I started crying. Now it was Arjun's turn to be surprised. I never cried in front of anyone, I thought it was a sign of weakness and vulnerability. I started speaking while I was crying, "Arjun it has been a long time since I have had someone care for me except Uncle Suryakant and I had almost given up hope that anyone else would ever care for me."

Arjun just shook his head at me as if I didn't know my own worth. "I don't want to appear weak especially in front of you, because the gods only know how much you would tease me, for it. But I couldn't hold myself any longer, I miss my parents very much and the way you yelled at me it was pretty close to how my father would yell at me when I was being stubborn."

I saw him looking pained to see me crying. I couldn't take it any longer and cast my head down. I could feel he did not know what to do with me. It wasn't everyday a crying princess landed in his chambers. I didn't see him close the small gap between us but I felt him kneel and put his arms around me awkwardly. He did not know how I would react and was very cautious with me. I was extremely surprised when Arjun put his arms around me but I felt safe, I fit perfectly into his arms. I felt as if I was finally home.

I felt him trying to pull away as my spine had stiffened and I was still crying. But I didn't want him to let go of me so I relaxed, I let go of any control I still had over myself and held onto him. As my arms reluctantly wrapped around his torso, I felt him let out a small smile. He was my anchor as the waves of my emotions swept over me. After what seemed like an eternity or maybe just a few seconds he spoke to me slowly, "Avantika I'm truly sorry for yelling at you like that. I should have just told you."

I mumbled into his chest, "it's okay Arjun, thank you for being here for me." I looked up at him to find him giving me a genuine smile, not the one he gave to the other princesses out of courtesy. The one that sometimes left me blinded. He slowly said, "I don't know about the teasing. I'm still going to tease you for crying." I immediately shoved him away from me and scowled at him but I guess the light red tint to my cheeks gave me away.