Little Hope That's Left

Chapter 1

Hi, I know that y'all don't like this, I don't either, but I would like to say a few things really quick:
1) don't copy this story that's just rude
2) I'm not professional so please don't be mean about mistakes
3) this story is fiction
4) please let me know about thoughts and books that you are writing, I love to read. Go on with the book...

The Beginning:

He started out so sweet, so caring, like he actually wanted me, but now there is a new girl on his arm and the word love falling from his lips. And endless sets of tears falling from my golden eyes.
His name is Holden, and he is an ass of a man, with deep black hair and amazingly shiny brown eyes. He is an extraordinary boy and I have fallen for him, by accident. I am fully sure that no one would fall for him on purpose if they really knew what he was like. I mean, he told me that I would fall for him, but I did not expect that if/when I did, he would go for another female, and leave me here lonely, and full of false hope.
"Hey Infinity." Tristan welcomes me, while he is sliding to his desk for second period algebra.
"Hey Babes," I send a fake smile his way and grab my notebook, way too ready to get today checked off of my calendar.
Babes is what I call Tristan, because we are super close and it keeps the bitches, who only want to use him, away.
"So Holden told me what happened." A glimpse of sadness crossing his deep brown sugared eyes. Tristan was not horrible looking, he was actually nicely attractive. He is exactly what I look for in a guy, tall 5'8 at least, black hair that flops a little in the front, but not too much that it's terrible, and he is always wearing some perfect fitting jeans, a button down shirt, and close toed shoes of all colors and styles. He was not bad at all. Not to mention his deep brown, loving, I could melt right here, eyes, that pop because of his black extremely huge framed glassed. Plus he was very talented academically, athletically, and instrumentally. He was quite the over-achiever.
"Yeah, it's pretty bad, huh?" Mumbling slightly, and nervously playing with my pencil, as I spoke. I do not really like talking about myself, and that is the current topic.
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that." A hint of pink shadows across his cheeks as his lips move to form the words.
"It's not a big deal, he makes his own choices." Tristan did not get to reply, because Miss. Johnson came inside her classroom and began talking about what we were going to be doing in this dreadful class, that already had sleeping students.
"Partners today, well groups of three. And since so many of you are failing, I chose the groups. C.C., Jermery and Mozarat, group one. Holden, Elizabeth, Jennifer, group two. Seri, Lexi, and Colton, group three. Infinity, Angel, and Tristan, group four..." I zone off after my group was mentioned, and mentally did a happy dance because Angel, or ten as some like to call her, was one of my best friends, and my Wifey and my batman. I try to always be with her, but this not so nice teacher, will not let it happen. Angel is my height, with carmel eyes and light hazel hair. She's a little dorky but over-all perfect. "Okay go."
"You ready?" I grab the paper from the teacher and start to do the first problem, not looking either one of them in the eye.
"How are you okay with what happened with Holden?" One deep breath and my eyes close, right after he said that.
"Babes, will you stop?" Anger hinted my voice as I spoke. He was quiet and got to work.
"How do- What the- How did- Help please." I quietly laugh at Angel's reaction to the first problem, while Tristan sighs loudly from beside me.
"Let me." Tristan pushes me out of the way, so I finish my work and turn it in. Then sit there, quietly, looking around the room seeing everyone working or trying to at least. The gears in my brain turning on full speed, while Holden slithered his way into my thoughts once again. I feel the tears pecking at the corners of my eyes and, quickly, I laid my head on my desk and covered the affect of one selfish boy in a world filled to the rim of them.
"Hey, did you already turn yours in?" Tristan's soothing voice comes in my ears and pushes Holden out of my thoughts.
"Yes." I try as hard as I can to make my voice clear and have no evidence of the tears in my eyes.
"Okay." His steps get quieter until they mix into the rest of the class's noise.
"Hey." A shy voice calls.
"Hi Holden." I lift my head and send a smile.
"I'm sorry about last night, but I couldn't lie to you."
"It's what I wanted, the truth, that is. I hope you are happy with her." My voice does not crack, shake, or break, as I thought it would.
"I will be." He nods and walks off though. I don't want him to walk off. I want him to say that he cannot live without me. I want the sweet guy I met. The one who pushed to get me. Who wanted my love. The one from four days ago.
"You okay?" No. The feeling of tearing in my heart is over-powering the rest of my body and I am so mad that I could kill someone. I'm so sad I could literally cry a river. I am so confused that a scientist couldn't figure me out.
"I'm fine. He deserves to be happy." Ten pulls me into a hug and almost makes my eyes water again.
"Aw look at y'all. I want a picture." C.C., Angel's cousin, teases us.
"Don't mess it up!" Tristan screams from across the room. We slip from laughing at his reaction, and hit the floor. "You guys are so clumsy!" He gets out before laughing all over again. It almost seems weird. Tristan doesn't normally communicate with me on a daily basis, but he's being oddly nice to me today. He makes me smile and laugh. He makes me happy, but he's not Holden, and that's who I want. Sadness sweeps through my tiny body all over again.
"Hey, babes are you going to Carter's for lunch?" My Wifey questions my whereabouts. I simply nod, not able to make my voice box produce sound. "Okay, well see you then!" She yells running down the hall to see her boyfriend before third period.
"Good morning class, today with will be fixing these robots," he drops a box of robot parts on the table before him, "Each one of you will have a partner to do it with, your table partner. Except Infinity because you don't have a table partner. Would you like one or do you want to work by yourself?"
"Myself." My voice is soft, and shallow. Anyone within a mile radius could tell that I didn't want to be with anyone or talk to anyone.
"Okay get started everyone!"
Nothing exciting happens during third or fourth, but now it is time for LEAP. I do not know exactly what it stands for, but it is advanced E.L.A. for students.
"Good afternoon." Ms. Alexa, a blonde, young, female, tells the 16 of us in her class as we enter. "We are not doing much today, make up work mostly. Next period we have literature circles and jobs, but until then work on missing work."
"So Holden, huh?" Karter, another one of my few crushes, dark hair, beautiful eyes and a perfect A report card. You might think that I despise dumb people, but I need someone who can keep up with me and most advanced people can't do that, so someone below average wouldn't be able to at all.
"Uh yes." I'm not nervous because of the question he asked but the fact that he is talking to me. He had never actually talked to me and yet here he is, smiling widely as we talk about his friend.
"Well, I kinda feel bad now." The shame plastered across his wonderful face.
"Why?" My voice cracks for the first time today, as I try to keep from crying.
"I told him to move on." The anger behind his voice is pointed towards himself and that made me feel as though I needed to console him.
"It wasn't your fault. I'm the one who didn't show him I liked him." My voice is steady and calm, for once today I do not feel like crying, I feel almost happy. I guess boys have this effect on me today.
"Yeah, but your the one who admitted it and showed signs of growing up, while I just wanted him to get revenge for you hurting him." As bad as that sounds, I still had no feelings of hate or anger towards him and I couldn't understand why.
"I would have done the same if it was a friend of mine." I just shrugged.
"How can you be so kind, so sweet, so caring and still have a heart that no one can touch? How can you sit there and listen to what I say and just shrug it off like it doesn't matter? Why aren't you mad at me or him or anyone?" I listen to his rant and wonder about the answers.
"I'm naturally kind and sweet, but I don't like getting hurt so I put up a shield, that same shield keeps people from knowing how I feel and they can't use it against me, so there's no need for me to get mad. That sheild is the reason why I can sit here and listen to you talk, and not blow up. I might be sweet, but I know when to stop being sweet." My voice is soft, calm and just above a whisper.
"How do you break a sheild?"
"With the bullets you don't have." I warmly smile at him just as the bell rang for seventh period. (5/6 period were with the same teacher, two ela periods)
"Hey." Josh says to me. Josh is my loner, he doesn't really like to talk to people, he just likes to draw.
"Hey Loner." I smiled and the rest of the day went perfectly as planned, right up until my long-lost-love texts me.
From: Holden
Hey, what the fuck is up with Karter?

To: Holden
Idk he ain't my friend. He barely talks to me.

From:Holden
He says you should know. So stop Fucking lying to me. WTF did you do?

To:Fuck Off
I didn't do shit. He feels bad for telling you to move on. Grow up and stop blaming me. Also lose my number, I don't need your shit anymore.

I almost cried as I pressed send. But almost only counts in horseshoes, so I guess I'm good. I put my phone to sleep, and I tried to the same, but thoughts of him swarmed my mind, and grabbed a hold of my heart. He refused to let me go, even when he swore he was in love. Why does it hurt so much, even though I have accepted the fact that he has moved on?
Knock Knock Knock
The banging on my apartment door, gets me up and moving.
So let me explain the apartment thing. My parents own this huge apartment complex place and I was allowed to live in one alone, as long as I get good grades and go over to their house Friday nights for family dinner. I do live alone, but under the supervision of my parents, I mean I'm sixteen, so it isn't that bad.
Knock. Knock. The person at the door, shows their presence to me again.
"Hello?" I swing the door open, and take a long look at the human standing in front of me, and it's one that I didn't expect to ever talk to me again, but he's here isn't he, and that should mean something, shouldn't it?

~

Dear Human Reading,

I know that you don't like author notes, I don't either, but I want you to know a few things.

- I am not a good writer, so I apologize

- I don't know where this book is going, but it will go somewhere

- I will post the amount of words in each author note

- You don't have to read the author's note

- There are 2144 words in this chapter

Thank you,

Cherry