- Play the song over while reading, it suits it well, I thought it did for me. If any of you can relate to my story, I'd love to hear it and also know how you recovered (: -
August-2013
It all started with me wearing a cowgirl outfit, well at least I thought it did. I was halfway through my classes. It was so far, a great start for 7th grade. My first year, in middle school. It was quite scary because, all elementary schools that were in the district, were now combined. I met a lot of people. I'm really outgoing, so it was easy for me to make friends. I had 2 periods left. I was making my way to 5th period. Technically, I had one period left now. At my old middle school, it had only been 6 periods. 5th period was English. I walked in smiling, as the teacher greeted me. She seemed really sweet. I sat down once I spotted a couple friends. We talked, laughed and smiled. I wasn't aware of my surroundings until. . . there, there he stood. He caught my attention, he was different from most guys. He was reading and ignoring all the talk. He had brown hair, light brown eyes, almost hazel. I was lost for words, I stared and stared. I know I probably looked like a creep. I just, never seen such a guy. Every other guy was loud and annoying, then you have a quiet guy. It's as if no one noticed him, but just me. He was in his own little world. He didn't smile much, he was a quiet, shy guy. As the class began, I grew uninterested. We had to make name tags. I immediately saw his name, it suited him. Once English was over, I got up and left with my friend. My last class was Bio, I ended up being the last one in, so it was embarassing. I had to sit with 3 guys, I was the only girl. They were all nice. I examined the room and there he was! I thought, it had to be fate. What made me upset was, he never glanced at me or my way. Not even a second. I wanted to not mess up or look stupid in front of him. Whenever she called on me, I answered correctly but even after I did, he just didn't look. It was hard but I ended up telling myself. A guy with the cutest dimples, adorable braces, beautiful eyes, won't look my way. I told myself that, months after months, that I just grew use to it. It was sad, but I learnt to deal with it. Once second semester came, I at least wanted to talk once to him. So I asked a friend to help. She asked him a question, for me. He seemed confused but then answered. I went up to clarify why we asked him that, I lied and said I was telling everybody. Once I left, I felt proud that I at least spoke to him but then I realized, that I couldn't talk to him. It felt impossible, I cried. I was only 12, I felt like I found my soul mate. Whenever I stared into his light brown eyes, I felt a connection. As if, it was meant to be. Like fate.
Second Semester came, things got better. It turned out I had 3 classes with him. It was amazing. My friend ended up telling me that she liked him. I was heart broken but told myself that I was over him. I agreed to help her. So I ended up talking to him in 3rd period. I was more confident, maybe because I was doing it for a friend? So I told him what he thought about her. He said "she's nice and cool." I then told her, she was so happy. The next day, she ended up telling hm how she felt. Apparently, he didn't feel the same about her. She was sad but got over it. Him and I got closer, told jokes, teased each other and it was fun.
One time, he asked me to stay after school to finish a project. For me, it was the best thing ever. I thought, it was like a date, sort of? Who cares! I was so happy, it was worth getting in trouble for. My mom ended up waiting 30 minutes for me, oops.
Eventually, my feelings came back. I wondered, if he ever knew how I felt? Did he feel it too?
I didn't want to get my hopes up, but he noticed me more. Stared more, teased more, talked more, he smiled more, it was crazy! I felt like I changed him, in a great way.
Days and a couple months went by it felt great. Once the last day of school came, we signed each others year books, my hurt bursted with happiness. I heard he actually ended up liking me back. I was the happiest girl in the world, sadly it didn't last long.
2014- August/September)
8th grade came, I had zero classes with him. He would stare at me, I would stare back. He had the same wellness period, but different teacher. Fate was cruel, we only spoke once. "Hi." And that's it. He ended becoming known and loud and different. He hung out with the jocks. The boy who was once quiet changed and I didn't know him. Its as if he didn't exist. He woud stare at me still, but no words were spoken. We grew apart.
9th grade 2015-
Nothing.While I still love him, yes love. He has a girlfriend, he's made every sports team. He's living the life. I hope I can move on, but its hard, he was my first, true love and I hope he felt the same. Life can be unfair, love can bring tragedies and sorrow. I realized, I can't be hung over a guy who probably doesn't even remember my name. I take control, I'm working on moving on and cleansing myself slowly. Even after all the pain and waiting, I think it was worth it. Life is about experimenting and learning. I now know the feeling of being in love and know not to fall too hard if he's not there to catch you.
I thank him, and wish him the best in life, and hope he gets all the happiness in life. Everyone deserves to be happy. This is me letting go and that's my story.
