Naylene's Book Of Poems

How Can I Say That You Broke My Heart Without Even Trying?

I'm not sure how to feel about this or how to feel about anything anynore, really.

First, Our friend killed herself but turned out it was all a lie to get attention

Second, I get upset at you because you were drinking and it's my fault, Your mom said to me "I can't stand you hurt my daughter tonight, thanks"

That night, I daydreamed about pills and how I just wanted to sleep, Looked at the directions on the bottle, "Don't take more than recommended"

I did.

But not enough to hurt me.

Third,

You say you fell for someone who i did,

I couldn't call him my ex,
He never was mine.

You never meant to hurt me, I know,

But it's happened.

My heart loves too many and I have so many feelings,
My heart is too big for my body to contain.

I just want to sleep right now.

Sleep forever.

I dream about jumping out of a car,

I dream about all the pills i could drown with orange juice.

When i was in the hospital, This girl told me that Orange juice helps the pills dissolve faster.

Ever since, I've used orange juice when i've wanted to overdose.

I don't really want to leave this earth,

But i'm so tired of being so sad and crying so much.

I'm tired of all this pain,
I don't even know if there is an afterlife.

If there is,
I'll rot in hell for liking girls and wanting to end my life because of all the pain in my life.

It's not your fault, though;
It's mine for caring so much.

I know you're sorry, I am too,

Because I'm not sure how much more of this i can take