Help me to Heal

Chapter 3

Everything changed the next day.

March 1st.

After a long day in school, I come out of my classroom to see my father standing a few meters away from the door, waiting for me.

What? What is he doing here? Isn't he supposed to be with my mom?

"Vicky, my love! How was your day honey?" He says with a loving smile, but I can see a different emotion in his eyes. I can't tell what is it, but I know it's there.

I'm not trying to understand what's happening around me anymore. I'm getting used to it, and I seem to like it now. Everyone around me looks so sad, and if knowing everything makes you unhappy, then I prefer to live in my own world with a smile in my face.

"It was OK. How's mom?" I ask him, hoping a positive answer comes next. I really want her to heal and come back with us. Life's not the same without her. I need her to be with me, take care of me, play with me... I just need and want her back, that's my only wish right now.

"She's.... she's better" He says looking up at the sky.

Is she?! Is she really getting better?! I can't hide my growing happiness as I realise that with every second that passes I'm closer to having her back at home.

While I'm absorted in my happy thoughts, dad leads me to our car, parked in front of the main entrance of the school. There's someone in the driver's seat....

Is that her? Could it be her the one driving the car? My heart is racing now, and I feel my cheeks burning and my legs slightly shaking on their way to the car.

As we get closer, I can see it's a woman. A woman! My mom is in the car! I look up at my dad to search for any excitement in his face. He's serious, looking staight ahead. How can he not be happy if we're all together now?

Now I know how. It's not her. My mom is not in the car, she's not the woman sitting in the driver's seat. That woman is my aunt Ivy, my dad's sister. She's really nice and funny, I really like her. I think she's my favorite aunt. Although, I was hoping to find mom in the car, not her.

Aunt Ivy was the one to put up the Christmas tree with me last year, since dad was at the doctor with mom. She also organised my birthday party on December 6th. I hate having a birthday on December.

As I slide in the back seat, I say hello to my aunt and expect her to climb down of the driver's seat and take the passenger seat, letting my dad drive. Instead, dad seats with me in the back seat. He's never done that before because he says he gets dizzy in the back, but I'm happy he's next to me.

After a couple minutes in silence, my father turns to face me, with his lips shaped into a little smile and glossy eyes.

"My little girl, you know that even though I'm not physically with you anywhere you are, I'm always with you spiritually. Always. Doesn't matter you're here and I'm all the way across the world, you will never be allone. You are the most important person in my life and I love you, Vicky". His voice doesn't sound natural, he seems happy but with the sound of his voice I know his faking it.

"Y-Yeah daddy, I know... And I love you too..." I say trying to sound convincent but fail, making my voice sound more like a question.

I can feel my aunt staring at us through the rear mirror. I look at it, finding her big brown eyes full of pain and tearing. She looks down and starts to search for something inside her bag, taking out a small white towel with small pink flowers embroided in the corners and hands it to my dad.

"Well..... last night, m-mommy stopped breathing....."

No

".....and went up to heaven....."

No

No

It didn't happen

She is not dead

No

"W-what?!" Is all I can say as many tears run down my face. "This is so bad"

What did I just say?

He wipes my tears with the small towel and I can hear my aunt sobbing. When I open my eyes I see my dad crying. I had never seen him crying before, it's shocking.

He hugs me and brings me closer to him. We spend the rest of the ride home crying without saying any other word.

There isn't anything left to say.

She is gone. She is never coming back.

My mom's dead.