Just johndave story's I'm not sorry

Sinning for a fool

Your name is John Egbert and you are currently having a panic attack because, you're gay.
But you CANT be gay! Why? Because you come from a very strict Christian house hold and your not prepared for what could happen! You've read and watched plenty of videos on how family members react and god they're just so sad and horrible. How people could just kick there own children out of there lives to fend for themselves and possibly die on the streets you just couldn't wrap your head around.

And it was all Dave striders fault.

You met Dave when you were seven, he had transferred to your school after getting in a fight with some kid who made fun of his pointy shades at the time at his old school. You being a tiny kid thought you'd make a new friend and spent every day for two whole months sitting next to him at lunch, you two didn't even talk at first just sat. After the two months you just slid over a pair of shades that you though where much cooler and would suit him better. He just looked at you before grabbing your hand and pulling you behind some trees on the play ground, the shades you got him in his other hand.
And that's when he took of his lame anime shades and squinted at you. You remember gasping and starring at them.
A deep red.
Honestly you thought they matched him! They looked like the red from the exit signs that scattered the school for exits in case of a fire. He mumbled that it looked like blood. You shrugged and told him that's not how you saw it and you swear he smiled at you- a REAL smile.
From then on he wore the shades you got him and you two sat every day together.

You two where practically inseparable all through middle school and high school. And you both had your flings and such. You dated a girl named Vriska in middle school, for half of seventh grade. Dave told you over and over that he didn't trust her and that she was bad news. But of course you didn't believe him at first and just went on with your relationship that, now that you think about it, wasn't really a relationship. You only saw her during lunch and she barely even talked to you then except when she wanted something from you. She was the one to call it off and you honestly didn't mind

Daves first relationship was in high school, tenth grade. He dated Terezi pyrope, Dave had met her in sixth grade and they where close. Of course not as close as you and Dave where and you knew that. So- you had wondered why you felt so jealous?- it was none of your business who he dated. Karkat, your other friend of course made it a daily deal to point out the way you looked at them and how pained your eyes looked, even through all your smiles,saying what no one else would say but only to you of course, that you were in love and to stop being a dumb fuck shit and do something. You would just roll your eyes and point out that he didn't like them being together either. You hated that you would say 'either' because it just proved that you where jealous. You just didn't know why (because you weren't gay. You couldn't be gay)

You and Dave had went to the same college too. He was study photography and film making, while you had studied biology and had a music scholar ship as well. It was great! You and Dave had ended up being roommates so of course it was great. Though you where still jealous of Dave and Terezi who had stuck together after high school. Terezi was working to become a lawyer or something, you didn't bother paying attention. You noticed that Dave and Terezi spent more time together through out the years, and you would pretend like everything was fine when he went out of the dorm and went out to hang with her. You just smiled and nodded saying you had to finish up some work anyways (nine out of ten times you didn't though).he never looked long enough to realize how forced it was.
Your friend rose of course did notice and of course she did, the woman was going to be a phycologist after all. After Dave would leave she would come over for about an hour so that you could vent to her, she never minded, always said it would be good practice. You just couldn't figure out what was wrong with you! You should have been happy for him! Right? Rose had pointed out multiple times that you haven't dated since middle school and that you seemed emotionally attached to Dave. You made it a point to tell her that he was your best bro of course you where close! She would sigh and shake her head, she knew you didn't want her to push to far, you weren't one to share often so she took what she could before you blocked it all out again. She said that you had emotional separation issues because of how close you two where but you always knew she was hiding something. One day you told her to tell you the truth, you needed to know what was wrong with you! She frowned and said "John I know you will not like this news,but it has come to my attention that you are in love with Dave."
You two didn't talk for a week after that conversation. You wouldn't except it, you couldn't except it! You just sighed and shoved it away like everything else and just decided to be happy for Dave and his girlfriend.
(Even though it was killing you inside)