Break Up part 2

'and if you fall behind, then you are left behind, friends tried to consolidate me, their words drowned beneath the questions in my head. "will we ever be friends again? why didnt you tell me something was wrong? i miss her.. i miss her so much" i eventually came to accept my situation and in an attempt to fix myself, i figured all i needed to do was find someone new. you know when your toy breaks and it cant be fixed, you go get a new one, but thats an unreliable idea and that doesnt work for everyone. in my vanity i believed i was a good partner and to be punished like this was unfair. i went seraching... countless girls, countless dates, non compatible. this went on for a year, and i eventually gave up. and i wish i had sooner. so i didnt have to waste all that time, putting my dignity on the line...at the same time i gave up, i got over her...i still missed her being a part of my life, but accepted that she was now a thing of the past, something that i cant bring back she was a previous chapter in which i could only indulge in re reading the story, but not re live the experience. i gave up the search, i gave up the questions, they didnt need answers...you see, when a toy breaks, youre not always ready for a new one, sometimes you need to remain in that state without a toy. you have to learn to be strong by yourself and exist in independance, youre not supposed to go looking for a new toy, you wait until you've earned it, as a gift....people will often tell you that everything happens for a reason, but it isnt necerserrily your job to find those reasons, sometimes the best thing you can do, is just accept...and move on...