Stories from My Youth: The Complete Chronicles

Story 8 - A Snowman Story (29th November 2006)

*UPDATE* Howdy everyone. This is the first time I've updated in three months, and as luck would have it, the first story of the new year is related to Christmas...... You're bloody welcome. So get ready for some wonderfully fitting Christmas cheer as we flashback to 2006 with 'A Snowman Story'!

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Once upon a time there lived a elf named John, a reindeer named Josh, and a person who everybody knows and loves, Santa Clause. They all lived in the North Pole. On Christmas Eve 2006, all the elves were wrapping all the toys. ''Right that's everything done,'' said John. ''Except for one thing,'' said Santa. ''What is that''? asked John. ''We have to put them in my sleigh,'' said Santa. ''Oh yeah,'' said John. Meanwhile outside the grotto, the reindeer named Josh was standing all alone in the cold snow. ''Oh i wish i was an elf,'' said Josh. ''I don't want to stay out here in the cold snow, i want to be nice and warm inside'', he said. Suddenly John went outside. ''Hey what are you doing out here?'' asked Josh. ''I am going to build a snowman, '' said John. ''Oh that's nice,'' said Josh. A few hours later, John finished the snowman. ''It looks fantastic,'' said Josh. ''It does,'' said John. 1 hour later Santa took off. He was flying high when suddenly there was a strange sound and then the sleigh fell down. He landed back at the grotto. ''Oh dear my sleigh is broken'', said Santa. He just realised that he was near the snowman that John had made. Quickly he said some magic words and the snowman came to life. ''Hello how can i help you''? asked the snowman. ''I am in a bit of a pickle because my sleigh broke down,'' said Santa. ''Don't worry i will solve the problem,'' said the snowman. And he fixed the sleigh. ''I can't thank you enough,'' said Santa. ''I like to help,'' said the snowman. And Santa's sleigh never broke down again.

The End

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Wow.... now I remember why I didn't update this for so long. If you're still here and still reading this, you're either a really great friend or a complete masochist. Damn, now I have to review this....

Firstly, there appears to be a running theme throughout all my stories so far to do with my complete lack of understanding of anything to do with physics. Anytime a character should and probably would have died, they always come out without a scratch. Now, I know it would have been a very controversial (yet totally badass) move to kill Santa Claus in one of my stories, but sadly I wasn't much of a rebel back then. I suppose you could make the argument that Santa has some moon-beam bullshit that helps him survive great falls, but to be honest, I don't feel like getting into an argument over how a mythical fat guy in a suit survives a crash landing.

Anyway, elsewhere this story is yet another great big mess. There's far too much dialogue, and everything manages to take place in one day, despite the acknowledgement of several hours passing. Again, if it's Santa there may be a chance that he could slow down time or whatever, but I'm not opening that can of worms.

Overall rating - 3 out of 10. Beginning to think I rated my previous stories a little too low, and I'm scared to find out if they get any worse than this.

Join us next time for the first nail-biting, all out action/adventure thriller in this series. Be there or be triangle.

(Today's song is one i just happened to have stuck in my head as I was typing this, and since I couldn't come up with anything better decided to keep it. The song is 'It's Now Winter's Day' by Tommy Roe from his 1967 album of the same name. A nice, poppy song that has a California winter sound all over it.)