All boxed in

Loss

It happened.... I lost one of the most caring friends I could have ever had that fought for me. But I'm the one that couldn't make it right and I deserve this pain. I know she doesn't hate me or maybe she does I have no idea. But I am the stupid one. I couldn't make things right. And now the consequence is loss. It's hard not talking to her. She use to be the person I could tell anything. My heart can't take much more pain. I walk and walk every day. But I feel weaker and weaker. But I'm not giving up on my life. I still have one. One special girl. That I hope will stay otherwise I think my heart may stop. I keep walking and talking giving hope and believing. I give my heart in to much to people. But losing someone at the cost of my own heart almost killed me. I know I done did wrong. I wanted to change and stop. I could t bring myself to the words to actually say it. What mattered the most was to know a smile was on someone's face but now she can't think of me without tears and broken. I am Bucky. I know I am stupid I deserve to take everyone's pain. Instead of cause it. But there is nothing I can do about it no more. What happens next is change. Something we all hate but it's for a good cause. I was always there for my snowflake. In her worst of times. And greater good. She's been through a lot. And I broke her. I'm the oldest I should have known better.

I'm not good enough I'll never be good enough. I told you I am stupid and that's all I will ever be. I told the truth. I told everything. But the truth hurts people. It gets you no where. I am nothing. I will never be anything. I losing everything. I've losed myself a long time. Ago old school isn't Anything to people. I don't know why I try. I don't know why I breathe. Why am I still typing no one gives a crap what I say so I'll just stop fighting for myself and give it all to other people till my heart stops. I'll still be fighting just not for me no more. I'm not worth my own soul. I'm a no body.