Aftermath (An SVU Fanfiction) *EDITING*

Unexpected News

It had been about an hour since Olivia had fallen asleep before she woke up again. She didn't have a nightmare, the kids weren't upset, Elliot didn't wake her, but something told her she needed to wake up. She had this thought that something was wrong and needed to find out what it was. 

She got up out of bed and slipped a pair of shorts on. She made her way down the hallway and checked on the kids. She went into Dylan's room first, as hers is closer, and found her sleeping peacefully in her crib. She ran er finger over Dylan's cheek and smiled. She made that. She made a life happen, even if it wasn't under the best conditions, she did that.

Olivia then went into Eli's room, checking to be sure he's also okay, which he was. He's sound asleep and snores just like his father, but it's cute. She leaned down and kissed his forehead before cracking the door and sneaking out.

Olivia wasn't exactly sure of what she's so worried about. Those babies are perfectly healthy, they're safe and loved, there's nothing to be afraid of. "Motherly instincts, sometimes they're wrong." she thought to herself.

She went downstairs and into the kitchen for a snack. Even after having her daughter, she's still having cravings. "Breastfeeding cravings" they call it. She was trying to find some chocolate, some peanut butter, anything sweet, but there was nothing.

She felt a hand rest on her hip and jumped. "God, El!" she exclaims. "You scared me!"

"I'm sorry, babe. What're you doing up so late?"

"I just.." she turns around and leans back into the counter. "I can't sleep and I can't help but feel like something's wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"The kids. I just feel like something's wrong, but nothing's wrong," she tells him.

"You know that makes no sense, right?"

Olivia glares at him, letting him know that she's not in the mood for sarcasm and jokes. "Shut up."

"Liv, the kids are fine. There's nothing to worry about."

"You don't get it!" Olivia says, getting frustrated. "There is something wrong, I just know it, there's something not right!"

"What? What isn't right?"

"I don't know.." she whispers, looking away from him. 

"Hey," he gets her attention and makes her look at him. "I promise you, everyone is okay. Dylan, Eli, you, me, we're all fine."

"I could care less about you," she says under her breath and brushes pass him. "I know something isn't right, even if you don't. It's that mother's instinct shit they tell you ab-"

"Shit? You don't swear, you hate it," Elliot says, confused.

"I do what I want to, Elliot, i'm a big girl and can take care of myself."

"Alright," he says, putting his hands up in surrender. "Why don't we go back to bed, then? You could use some sleep."

"You'll cuddle with me?"

Elliot put his arm around her and pecks her lips. "Of course I will."

"Okay," Olivia smils. The postpartum mood swings have been kicking her ass, but at least they aren't anywhere near as bad as they used to be.

*******

"I know this is hard to take in, but this isn't your fault. You did everything you needed to do during pregnancy to keep her healthy and continue to."

Olivia bursts into tears as her daughter lays in the car seat next to her. She can't believe what this doctor told her. Elliot came back in the room from being in the bathroom. "Hey, so she's okay?" he looks over at Olivia. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I told you something wasn't right! I told you there was something wrong with one of the kids and you didn't believe me!" she cries. Olivia got up and walked into his open arms, hugging him tighter than she ever has and fisting his shirt in her hands.

"Baby, what happened?!"

"She has CIPA! She has fucking CIPA, Elliot!"

"What?" he asks, unsure he heard her correctly. Olivia pulled away from him just enough to look up at him. 

"I did everything, we did everything we were supposed to do and she still-" she broke down, screaming, crying in the doctor's office. "Not my baby!"

*******

"How do you not feel pain, huh?" Olivia asks her baby as if she could answer. "How does that even work?" Dylan giggles and smiles big. "You can feel all the good stuff, just not the bad," Olivia says as she starts to cry.

Elliot came into the nursery and stood next to Olivia. "How you holdin' up?"

"I um..I'm really scared, El."

"I know," he whispers as she put Dylan in her crib. "I am, too."

"What if she gets hurt and doesn't know it while she's at school or-or she could be playing at the park and break her neck and she wouldn't know!"

"Olivia, we can't think of the 'what ifs'," he holds her by her shoulders. "We have to think positive, for her, for ourselves."

"She could kill herself, El.."

"Don't think like that, baby," he tells her, kissing the top of her head. He looks down at Dylan. "You see that little girl? She's so happy. Look at that smile!" Olivia couldn't help but smile as she wiped away her tears. "We've gotta be strong for her."

"And what if I can't? What if I can't even be strong for myself?'

"Then..you will. You're the strongest person I know," he tells as he tucks her hair behind her ear. 

"It's just that..she's my baby girl, our baby girl and I'm so afraid that we'll loose her. S-she won't know when she's hurt, so she won't tell us, she won't ever grasp the concept of pain, El."

"We will figure this out," he puts his arm around waist and puts his free hand on the back of her head, which she rests on his shoulder. "We'll teach her, we'll get her to understand, Liv, it'll just take some time."

"I've never so scared in my life," she confesses. "I-I don't think I could handle it if-"

"Baby, you can't worry about what may or may not happen in the future. We've gotta try to focus on right now, what's best for her and Eli and us right now."

"Since when did you become the calm and rational one?"

"Since I had someone to make want to be."

Olivia smiled and sniffled, raising her head and looking into his eyes, feeling like everything was suddenly going to be okay. "I love you."

"I love you, too.." He kisses her, and he, too, felt an unbelievable amount of security."so much." They stood there in each other's arms, looking at their daughter who slowly drifted off into sleep.

A/n: seriously guys, don't hate me too much. P.S: If you don't know what it is, CIPA is a medical disorder you're born with. It affects the nerves so the person is unable to feel pain, heat, or cold.