1. Okay, for those of you already reading Seductive Saviour, please don't hurt me. I've been very uninspired since that whole incident a few weeks prior. And I don't want to rush through my updates on that story and disappoint the readers who actually enjoy my stories. So those updates will be slow in coming. I am starting this story because I was watching a movie the other day, and this just sort of came up. I hope you like it.
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The moon kind of looks like a fingernail tonight. It's as bright as always but only a crescent shaped spot in the inky darkness. Sometimes I wish I was the moon. Where I could disappear for three days and no one even notices really. The stars miss the moon though. At least, I think they do. Makes me wonder if anyone would truly miss me if I disappeared. Of course, I think my Mom might actually miss me. But there is a disquiet inside me these days. Things spiralled so quickly out of control that I am not even sure how to get it back on an even ground.
Mom's noticed. She keeps asking me what's wrong, trying to dig up whatever it is that's bothering me. Whenever she's around that is. I keep telling her nothing but she doesn't believe me. Why should she when she can see that I'm always tired and my eyes have dark circles under them all the time? I tried ending things with him a week ago, and my body still aches from the backlash of it. I never knew he hid this dark side of him. A side that I never want to see again.
I really do wish that I could be the moon and frolick with Canis Major, hunt with Orion, or maybe even tame Leo. Astonomy is the only escape from my world, my life. Nothing makes sense anymore of life here on Earth. People take advantage of one another, using each other for their own selfishness, and it saddens me, makes me yearn to become part of the night sky that so many people disregard as just...there. It's beauty is uncomparable, but no one takes a simple second to glance up and truly see it for what it is.
A noise pulled my attention away from my journal and I stuffed it under my shirt in the waistband of my jeans. Grimacing in pain, I push up from the roof of the porch just outside my window and stand, stooping down to go back inside. I stopped just inside to find my step-brother laying on my bed with one of my school notebooks in his hands. "What are you doing in my room, Christian?" I demand, reaching to snatch the book from him.
Christian yanked it back with a smirk, and sat up, his back against the headboard of my bed. "Mom told me that you've been acting depressed lately, so I came to check on my little brother."
I scowled at him. "She's not your mom. And I'm not your little brother. I doubt you're actually concerned about me, Christian, so get out. You just like to make fun of me or delight in my misery."
A feigned look of hurt crossed Christian's smooth features, his dark blue eyes dancing with his true emotion of laughter. "Of course, I care about you, Toby. After all, we were family for a year."
A snort of disgust left me. I knew he was faking it. He always faked it. I remembered the last time I fell for it, right before his friends came around the corner at school two years ago, and he'd been hugging me because I'd been so upset about losing the scholarship for the most prestigious private school in the area. They started to rib him, and he'd shoved me against the lockers, laughingly telling his friends that I was nothing but a baby and I'd thrown myself at him, crying. That had been when I'd known he was nothing but a complete and utter jackass.
He was the popular jock of the school, football captain, a year older than me, with lots of friends and lots of girlfriends. Wavy dark blonde hair, big cat-like green eyes, and a body that would make most women, and gay men, drool. Lean yet muscular, tall at six foot three, and bright white teeth. The exact opposite of me. Slender, almost feminine in stature, five foot eight with boring mousy brown hair. The only redeeming feature, or so I've been told, are my unique eyes. They're a bright golden honey color, almost as bright as the stars above us.
