I've been here, not too long nor too short, hoping he'll come back to this very spot, to see me
and tells me he's still in love with me. That all of those were just a play and his just to be
kidding. That he gone wrong for leaving me.
But as the time passed. It seems that I'm hoping for something that wouldn't come and I'm
just dreaming for something that wouldn't be true.
I look every corner of the street now and then. But only those strangers I could see, they'll
just approached me and then passed me as if they didn't noticed that I'm here waiting for
him. To come back to me. To love me back.
I heave a sigh. So I think it will be the same as usual. I came here with that big expectation
but it will end up of nothing. Another wasted time, again? But I think it isn't, cause I know that if you truely love someone even if it took you a lifetime to wait, it would be very easy to do. It wouldn't be a waste after all.
But what if his gone? Gone forever? That I'm waiting for vain? That there's nothing to be wait?
No!! I know, that he'll come back. I'm sure to that. I must believe in what my heart says.
But still. Even the day could tell me that everything wouldn't last forever, that there's always an end in everything. That I couldn't take that time to spin backward.
As I look up at the sky, only I could see is darkness and in a sudden my tears sudden came
rushing as if there's no end.
Please Carl, come back to me now. I couldn't take it any farther. I'm in great pain and the only thing to heal this is when you come back to me. Even if you said that you hate me the day you leave me for no good reasons but I'm still willing to hear your side. To hear that you choose the wrong way. That its me you wanted all this time.
"Yuri?"
My eyes get widened as I set my eyes to him. TO HIM!!
"Carl? Is really that you? Please tell I'm not dreaming, that this is real." I'm about to reach him but he step back.
"No, please Yuri. Just don't"
"But why? Why Carl? Why you just disappear like you didn't exist after all? That you didn't
care that I will get pain of your actions! Why?!" These time I couldn't force myself to stop. All
those pain come crushing and pumping out as if it live there for a long time.
"I don't know. Maybe I'm just over with those fantasy. For all I know, being with you is like
living in a dreamland, that everything seems to be perfect all the time. And I couldn't stand
that Yuri. You're chaining me Yuri. And I want to escape that situation cause I'm afraid if
that.. if I'll stay, I won't find any courage to leave."
I laugh as he said these.
I laugh while my eyes keeps producing those tears.
"No Carl! That's
a lie right? Right?! You still love me. You still care for me, that you gone here, right now cause
you miss me. Missed me and you regretted the day you left me." I took another step to be closed to him. To feel and smell him. The man on my every dream. But as what he did as I
came near to him he'll take another back step. What's that mean? Is he really over me?
"Yuri, it's not you now. I met this girl that could define real. That can differentiate what's real
from fantasy that for months I'd been staying at."
As I could hear his word the sudden stub at my heart seems so real. That at any moment it
will make my heart bleeding... Again. So I'm now erase from the view. He got his new woman
now, and to him I'm just the other side, side of him that belongs to his past. Past that wouldn't come to his present.
All I could do now is to sit from what I'd occupy a while ago. I feel that any moment I could pass out. So I've been waiting for nothing. NOTHING.
"Are you happy with her? Do you love her more than you could love me before?" Questions I'm sure that the answere is too obvious. I looked away from him. I couldn't take him anymore. Not now, not forever. Cause he belongs to other arms.
"Yes."
I look up at him. Then I sigh. So this is it. "Good for you and bad for me too. I should have
read those signs, I should have thought it wouldn't last forever. So, I think it's settle now. I
know now what brings you to come up with those 'breaking up with me thingy'. And I must
say this, I'm happy that once in my life you enter my dreamland. I live for just a couple of
months thinking you'll be my prince charming and there'll be happy ending declaring we'll
live happily ever after. But as I figure it out fantasy exist in those books. It's fake after all."
"I hope you'll end up with the right guy. And don't worry, after this it will ease the pain and
sought you. And make you move from the past." Then he put his arms at my shoulder and lean a little bit. "It's nice to live in real Yuri. It will make you stonger as you face problems. And it will make you realize that it's the real that make the people happy."
I put my hands in his and started to shove them of. "If you truely love someone you should
find the courage to let him go even if its hurt like hell. I hope you told me this the time you
leave me. Maybe by this time I could find my other pair as you did."
"Yuri..."
I shook my head. "Don't pity on me. It was you who taught me how to become bitter. To feel
betray and to show me how to be fool by people."
"What do you mean? But why can't you accept that I don't love you anymore?"
"Ohh, you're asking now? Ask yourself my dear ex?"
He wanted to ask or clarify what those words mean. But I put my feet on step and now dashing to the street where I walked early this day.
I'm Yuri, burn to love Carl but my love wasn't enough for him. Maybe it's good to become a girl who can't be moved.
