Why is life boring?

 You may think that life is boring, but really...it's actually the opposite.
It just seems boring because you might not do what your "friends" are doing because of your mom or brother, or the fact that you feel the need to always go home and play online with your "friends" because you feel like that they are your real "friends" when you barely know them yourself. 

I'll give you an example of what I mean.

One day, after school, I got on the bus, relieved that I didn't have to deal with all my "friends" drama anymore. But really, I still was. Because the things you do in class or at lunch will follow you home. Home. The place where no good could go wrong and you feel safe. At least that's how it feels for me. For others, it could seem like the place where nothing good ever happens and you feel like you might die. I got online when I got home. Logged into Facebook, went onto YouTube, and then I saw something. Something that wasn't right. Unusual. A friend of mine shared a lot of depressing things on her timeline, stuff that said that if she would die, no one would care. I would. Stuff that said "I wonder how it feels to have a blade against the golden skin of my wrist". It didn't really say that but it felt like that's what it meant.

Kids are not supposed to be saying stuff or thinking like this. They matter. Every one does. Every one has a place in this world. A purpose. We may not know what that is exactly, but we have our life to figure it out. And once you've filled your purpose, that's when you leave. You don't want waste such a precious thing because someone called you a name or said you were an accident. I was an accident. I wasn't meant to be born, but I was. I don't blame myself or my parents for having me. I'm glad I'm here. I've had some amazing things happen to me, and some horrible things, too. But I'm still here.
And so are you.

If you weren't, you wouldn't be able to read this. I'm not gonna say that "I get it" or "I know what it's like". I don't know what's it like to feel like I'm not wanted or that no one cares about me. I fear that I will never feel like that because I can tell it's a horrible feeling but I never knew it was enough to hurt yourself. Or risk your life based on something someone called you or did to you. If someone called you a name or ever physically hurt you, don't give up. Don't make excuses. Fight. If you want it to stop, make it stop. No one is gonna fight your battles for you. It's okay to ask someone for help, but it's not okay to just let them do it by themselves. 

People are stupid. I hate people. That's one of the reasons why I like to stay inside all the time. There is no one I don't know or I don't like in my own home. I mean, I don't really like being the youngest out of five, but I've gotten used to it. My family loves me. My family cares about me. My family sticks up for me. Even if I never talk to them or if I don't know them that well. They stick up for me. They have my back. It's true when someone says "Family is forever".

If there is anything you want me to talk about or have me tell a story about family, or drama, or anything, let me know. Message me. Talk to me.
And remember. Life isn't boring. It's.....strange.