When You Find Yourself//

Chapter 1

Do you ever get so caught up in the moment that you realize that this perfectly amazing well put together moment simply wasn't appreciated enough and now that it's over you're left with the feeling of slight but not quite depression. Well that's how I felt the day aft-
     "How about you Aberdeen?" I awkwardly turn my head away from the window mid-thought to come face to face, eye to eye, mano a mano, with the spawn of Satan herself. I look around to my classmates to maybe find one kind soul to tell me as to what this woman is bitching about when my eyes lock with these big beautiful green eyes. I'd be lying if I said that I choked on my spit when he came into view. He was very attractive if I must say so myself. He nodded his head toward me than looked to the chalkboard. I got out of my chair and slowly walked to the chalkboard and stared at the symbols.
     For a mere second I was confused. Taking in all of the numbers and symbols almost seemed like looking at a complete different language. I slowly turned to the back of the classroom and saw those big all too familiar eyes.
     I then turned back around and read over the mathematical equation. I then grabbed the chalk piece and scribbled down formulas and within the next 2 seconds the problem was done. I swiftly turned on the tip of my toe and subtly smiled at my maths teacher, Ms. Burke, as made my way back to my seat.
      For a second I could see a hint of annoyance from Ms. Burke's face but it was quickly covered with her resting bitch face. I'm pretty sure teachers like her get off to making children miserable in all honesty. If that weren't the case why do they insist on choosing the obviously nervous kids to do things that, if backfired, would be on their minds for weeks on end. But I was happy with my result. I didn't trip or fall in the way back to my seat so I call that a win.
      You see this might have not been a big accomplishment for someone who's charismatic and confident, but when you live in an confined world of "what ifs" and social anxiety it can seem like winning the lottery.
      For the reminder of the period I stared out of the window continuing my conversation with myself. I turned my head to the clock and it read 10:45. Good only a few more minutes. While turning my head back I meet eyes with Evan Queen. He's what you call the school jock. A party regular. Drinks, smokes, has sex you know every teens dream. His big green irises engulfed me. He stared at me for about 10 seconds until the sides of his mouth curved up into a slight smirk.
      And then the bell rang. I got up and bolted out of the classroom to get away with the little "encounter" with Evan. You see Evan is the type to take your virginity and make fun of you for it.
      "Hey hey hey slow down where are you off too in such a hurry" Evan said with every word careless flowing through his mouth and falling swiftly through his lips. "Who the hell do you think you are" I reply trying to skip the small talk. "You're still not over that come on stop being a little bitch" He chuckles. "You have no right I repeat no right to come up to me all willy nilly and act like everything is fine. You did this. You fucking did this. So do me a favor and shove your egotistical attitude up your ass and leave me the hell alone" I harshly reply with hatred spewed over every syllable.
       He deeply chuckled and acted like my words didn't phase him but I could see it in his eyes. The hurt. It was present. It was still there. I felt it too. We mutually shared the emptiness. This feeling had eaten me up and was slowly deteriorating him.