Anyone But Me #girlxgirl

C12: Craziness

Zyana

I can't believe I let myself fall for it again. 

I can't believe I let myself think for even one second that Jay might actually still like me.

It was far too good to be true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week before...

Hand in hand, Jay and I walk towards the coffee shop. This is the first time we will have seen Mary in a couple of weeks. Sky will be mad, Brae will be mad, Mary will be mad, and... well... Olwen will be mad for Sky and Brae.

So basically everyone hates us because of this relationship.

The door swings open, and they're sitting at the table again. Well, shit. I can't exactly tell them I want to sit at another table because I'm "superstitious", can I?

"Hey Zyana," Brae mutters softly. I pick the empty seat besides her, and Jay walks to go get another chair. Wow, they didn't bother to get enough chairs.

"Why didn't you get enough chairs?" Jay asks, a bit bossily.

"We figured you two would want to share a chair, given how inseparable you are," Sky snaps, blurting it out and instantly seeming to regret it.

I shoot him a sassy look, reaching for Jay's hand, but she never takes mine.

"Maybe we should talk," she suggests. We slowly leave.

As soon as the door closes, we burst out into conversation.

"I'm so sorry. They're really rude, and I shouldn't have just taken that chair. That was rude. And I'm sorry about Sky..."

"It's fine. Look, Zyana, maybe they're... um... right about us."

My positivity ends, and my smile fades from my face.

"Like you mean you want to break up?"

She opens her mouth, making a sound as if the words are stuck in her throat. Is it really that hard of a question?

"Well... you see..." she trails off. "Um..." she sucks in a deep breath. "I love you, but maybe they're right. Most relationships end somewhere. It's not like we're going to get married or anything, so this is gonna end. Why not end it before it gets too far along?"

"You want to break up."

"It's not that simple, Zy Zy," she says, leaning against the wall. Her use of my old nickname strikes my heart. "They don't like it, and maybe they're right. Maybe you're not right for me."

"What, so I'm not good enough??" I question, raising my voice. 

"No, you're fine, it's just..."

"Jesus, why did you choose me if you don't love me??"

"I was confused..."

"Well-" I can't respond. I don't want to ruin this. I love her. I can't make this happen to her.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I'm not ready for this. I don't think this is the right path for me," she says, tears starting to flood down her cheeks as she runs down the road away from me.

"Jay!!" I call. I can't believe her. "I'm sorry," I whisper.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I saw it coming," I hear Sky say loudly as I enter. He shuts up as soon as I come over to the table, hiding my head in my arms as I slam it against the table. I feel an arm wrap around me, but I can't look up to see who's it is because my body is shaking too hard from crying.

I hear yelling, but I don't hear it.

I don't understand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brae

Zyana stomps back in, slamming her head on the table and starting to cry.

"Way to go, Sky," Mary snarls.

"What am I supposed to say?? It's true. I warned her like a thousand times."

"Yeah, well, it's totally helping," she says as Zyana sobs away. I wrap my arm around her, rocking her shaking body back and forth.

"Y'all shut up," I say.

"Shut up?? Guys, we forced Jay into this. Admit it. Just fucking admit it."

"So you're saying Jay didn't want to do it?? She wanted to do it, alright. And how did we force her into this?? She's the one that made up a lie," Sky yells.

"Not so loud," Mary says. "Look, things are bad. they just broke up. Will you just admit that you played a part in it?? We all discouraged them from this, and now look what-"

"They would have broken up anyways. I was just saving her the eventual pain," Sky shouts.

"The eventual pain? What if they were meant to be together?"

"Well, obviously they weren't. Look at what's happened!!"

"How is this my fault??"

"You constantly discouraged them, just because you have a crush on Zyana!" Mary screams, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms as if she's won.

"Well..." he trails off. "I mean, how is it just my fault! It's not. You were also discouraging them because you have a crush on Jay," he says, pointing to Mary, "you were too because of your crush on Zyana," he says, pointing his finger at me, "and you were too because of your friendship with Brae and your crush on me!"

The whole room goes silent.

"Wow, thanks," Olwen says. "Maybe we should do this outside."

"You guys go without me," Zyana says, getting up, pulling her hood over her face and head, and leaving.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wait, so what's going on?" Sky asks as we reach the park.

"Okay, so Zyana and Jay broke up, Jay ran away, Zyana left, and now we're all a confused and guilty mess," Ole tries to explain.

"Yeah, I know, but who likes who? This is definitely not a love triangle at this point. It's far too complex for that," I say.

"You and your fancy shmancy British language," Mary mutters audibly.

"Ooh, creative. Fancy shmancy! It's the newest innovation!!" I mock her.

"Y'all shut up now, kay?" Sky says.

"Whatever," I say, shoving my hands into my pockets. "I'm leaving." I get up from the damp park bench, moping out onto the path home.

"Er-" Olwen starts. "Oh, what the hell," she decides, following me. Finally. Someone agrees that this group is crazy.

This craziness is not what I signed up for.