Lost all hope

*This might contain some unappealing content*

Tears streamed down my eyes, leaving a wet trace on my cheeks. A silent but quivering sob escaped my lips so i cupped them with my right hand to keep silent. I was sitting on the floor in my shabby room. i continuously stared at my left arm which was lying on my leg, unmoving. It was covered with large bruises that were visibly turning into a darker shade of blue as time passed. Once again, I was bullied and like always, i didnt stand up for myself but let them abuse me and hurt me, just standing there limply. However, this time was a bit different. This time, the person who was responsible for these ugly bruises and cuts on my face, was the same person I had always looked up to, I had cared and loved for and swore numerous pinky promises that we would always be there for each other; my so-called best friend. 

She had let me down, she had got a bunch of her new "friends" to hurt me. For what reason, I wasn't aware of. At that moment, i was vulnerable and confused. I didnt know what to do and how to stop all this pain inside of me. I started feeling numb, all thoughts about us together raced through my mind and I clenched my fists. The only question rising up in my mind was, "why?".

Slowly, I crawled up to my bag on my bed and slipped my hand into a side pocket and when i felt the sharp, cool metal, i grabbed it and sat back down on the ground. I stared at it for a minute or so. I had promised never to do it again, but this time, the pain was too much to even bare.  I positioned the tiny blade on my skin, near my wrist and slowly but with force pressed onto it and slit my skin. I felt the burning sensation there and the pain rose as if i had been electrecuted. I stared at it as I saw blood starting to ooze out of it. I continued this process thrice but after, I felt someone's uncomfortably warm breath on my ear. I jerked ahead and turned but there was no one there. I dropped my blade on the ground and got up, hoping not to see any of my brothers hiding under the bed or behind a shelf, but my ear still felt a bit tingly so i let it be and left for a shower. 

I knew that this day, was a beginning of even rougher days, but to what extent, I could have never imagined.