It's beauty in the form of sound, mixing elements into perfect unison. That everyone has the ability to form. Music is so much more than sound. It's sadness, pain, happiness, anger, and so much more. It's the reason I love it so much.
It washes away pain and brushes away worries. It cradles you in arms that anyone would need. Letting you let out your sorrows through beauty. No one would expect me to be able to explain music in such way. I'd like to keep it that way. Music is one the things I enjoy most alone. As much as I hate being alone, music makes everything fine. It's the company I need when loneliness drops in.
Every time I visit Austria I listen to the piano. Although he plays well, he isn't putting his heart and soul into it. I almost want to tell what he's doing wrong when he plays and do it myself. Instead I restrain myself to keep listening because he won't listen. No one ever really does...
Music lets me show my anger and sadness. It's freedom to my soul that's locked in the cage called my heart. And as I play such beauty with the quiet and small sound of the flute, I let out my soul into the sound. Calling out to the world that I am here. Telling the world to face me head on because I am ready. Ready to fight back the sorrows of the past. I will not accept defeat.
I use the quiet flute because I know I'm simply a tiny voice out of millions but within quiet things is a booming sound that will get the attention of any God. I will call to the heavens and gain the attention of those I love who have died. It's just how I like to think that my voice matters. As much as I boast, I don't like to talk. I'd rather play an instrument so people can know it's coming from the heart.
As I get pulled back to reality, my soul goes back into its cage. Hidden away from the world because of the cruelty I have faced. It's fragile. My heart beat steadies after such a rush. I hold a smile on my face because for once, it feels like my voice matters. I don't get shut out for annoying anyone because I am alone. Alone in the arms of the music I make and I don't feel alone. I comfort myself with what I make because the cruelty of the world has beaten me down. So I must comfort myself to believe that I matter to someone. Music is just the way to show it.
I don't know how if live without it.
This is the moment that brings me to tears. The moment I fully realize reality and how much I dread it and yet love it. It's been dreadful but I know it's been good too. I have long accepted the fact that I will disappear.
I just want to keep the music playing so people won't forget my presence. The one thing I want least is for everyone to forget me. The music I play is my voice. I want to let them hear it forever. To never forget.
"Prussia."
I remember when I learned how to play. Taught by someone amazing and I still love him to this very day even if he's in heaven I know he's listening. It's the reason I play alone. I only want him to listen to keep him smiling with the flute he gave me.
"Prussia that was amazing!" I turned and found my friends with smiles on their faces.
But maybe...just maybe...it's okay if he's not the only one to listen. Maybe it's better to let others hear my true voice.
"I didn't think that was actually you playing!"
To let my heart be found before I'm gone.
"How did you do that!"
I should play music for everyone and show them it's beauty. It's just what the world needs.
"I'm awesome that's how!" I boasted with a true smile on my face.
My dying wish is to show the world the beauty of music. Let their voices be heard because in some way, everyone matters.
I'll teach the world the beauty of music...
