The Interesting conversations I've had Part 1

Therapy

My 3rd therapist – “Do you think your behavior is strange?”

Me –“No, I just have too much personality for my human body to handle”

              In The Car

My Mother –“Why didn’t you tell me my hair looked funny?”

Me -“I’m more of an inner beauty type person”

                 School

Person I hate –“Why don’t you talk about your feeling’s more often?”

Me –“Because if I talk you’ll respond”

                 Talking To My Older Sister As Kids

Me –“Where does rain come from?”

My Sister –“ Water cycle blah blah blah clouds blah blah precipitation blah blah blah Why?”

Me –“Oh,  I thought that somebody important died and the heavens were weeping”

My Sister –“ Wow, That’s stupid”

         Chinese Book Report

Me –“ And then she was very sad and drank some of the ink the family had made and died. Later the next day the family came and saw what happened the oldest girl screams ‘NO! She drank the best ink’. Then they send her bastard daughter off to an orphanage after telling her that she’s actually a bastard. Then she tries to escape with her sister who is really her cousin when the Japanese invade and WWII and also avoid communism until they escape to America.”

My Teacher –“ Did she finally find love after that?”

Me –“ Yes, she married a nice rich Doctor who loved her, and then he got hit by a car and died and she had to raise her their daughter all on her own and was treated like crap by her late husbands family”

My Teacher –“ Did you enjoy the book?”

Me –“ Yes, it was a lot happier than the previous ones I’ve read.”

                 Aunt Flow Comes To Visit

Aunt Flow –“ I will now punish you for seven days and seven nights for not being pregnant and trying to make something of your life.”

Me –“ *sobbing* I want the Alexandria’s Genesis Mutation”

*note* This mutation changes your eyes purple and if you never have to worry about shaving and if you’re a girl you also never have periods, but plenty fertile. This mutation does not affect a person eyesight at all.

                 Me Studying For A Test

Me –“ Sleep is for the weak, I shall be the first in the next step of human evolution. All will marvel in my awesomeness and then I will *sleep*”

                  Me Looking At Magazines

Me –“These Women are all photo shopped and airbrushed. No one looks like that in real life.”

                  Me Looking At Dragon Books

Me –“So that’s what a thunder dragon looks like. It’s beautiful.”

                   My Friends Talking About Their Nightmares

Nerd friends whose parents expect too much –“ I got a B on my AP Calc test”