Hey, I'm just a regular girl from London, UK. And this is a real life story I've wrote. My life started out, fun, fantastic, exciting until about the age of 10. From then on I knew I was different. I was unique from everyone else. Things were just a bit awkward, it seemed like my so cal friends were treating me different. They said I can't be in their gang, because I'm different. Because we had to get weighed and measured in class on Monday. They said I had to be under 100 pounds to be in their gang, I was 102 pounds. I felt like the odd one out. I felt fat, useless, worthless. I had know one to hang out with at break and dinner, I felt so isolated.
I'm now Y6 and 11. I've started puberty. Again I felt like the odd one out, because I started getting womanly things, and putting on more weight because of it...I hated myself, even more by the minute. By the end of Y6, girls started to wear make up, they said it made them look prettier. Additionally, they said I should try it one time, to at least try to get rid of my ugliness. They didn't have to tell me, I know I was fat and ugly...
Now in Y7! I really hoped it would stop, I thought this would be my fresh start. I lost some weight over the summer, and felt a bit more confident about myself. However, things didn't work out like that. Kids bullied me because I didn't have Facebook. So that night I asked my mum nicely,"can I have Facebook please?" She replied quickly,"no you can't its full of dirty pervs, and bully's. I kept asking her and asking her, but she never once gave in. I guess, because I got bullied in primary school, she doesn't want it to happen on line. I think she only cared for me, I think. I got fed up of missing out on the gossip, at school. So I immediately, got my laptop, and signed up for Facebook, she will never find out. From then on, I was always very wary of when my mum, came into my room. 2 weeks later she said,"darling, I know who you're feeling right now, and I feel genuinely sorry for you, therefore I'm letting you have Facebook. "Yay", I replied. "However, I will have your password, for my own reasons!" I replied "ok then thankyou, let me set it up, one second. She replied, "ok." I quickly deleted Facebook, and setted up the one my mum wants me to make. I did, and told her my password. I was actually so buzzed to be able to actually have Facebook. On the other hand, my mum knows my password, which I'm not pleased about but its better then nothing.
After, a week of having it, this strange man added me, I thought he wouldn't hurt me, he seems nice. So I accepted it, and we got on so well. We had so many common interests, such as: rock music, swimming, tennis and loads more! We strangely had so much in common. I told him my problems, and he was the only one that understood. One night, he asked "do you want to meet me tonight, at Matthews park?" I said, "of course, meet me at 7 at Matthews park."He replied, "ok. I felt so buzzed to finally meet him, he seems my dream boy! I got their about 5 minutes before, and were sat on the swings, just swinging up and down. It then got really creepy, it was half a hour later and he still wasn't here. So I decided to walk back. Slowly, I was walking back, and this white haired, wrinkly, ancient man were following me. He then tapped my shoulder, and asked, "are you the one I was suppose to be meeting, at 7, Matthews park?" I knew this wasn't right, so I suddenly replied, "no?" Then he was really nice and said, "ok." I got back, and quickly deleted him as a friend, and blocked him. I knew something was fishy, he wasn't who he said he was. I'm truly terrified. I'm never letting that happen again.
As time, soon moved on. I was in Y8. One time, I was going to the shops, I had these weird looking people staring at me. I got what I needed. I was so close, so close to home. But this vicious, vile, evil man snatched me by the neck, and forced me into sex...I felt distraught. I'm never ever going out again, I've being scarred for life. As soon as got let go, I rushed home, and quickly told my mum everything I couldn't hide it. I could be pregnant...My mum rushed to get her bag, and into the car, to the doctors. Because my mum said it was a emergency, we got in first, and the doctor scanned me, and said, "you are very very very lucky, not to be pregnant. I can send you too counselling if you want?" "NO", I quickly shouted. I tried to get over it, but all it did was cross my mind everyday, I knew the exact dates 15th October 2009. I just got to get on with life...
Wow, times flown by, I'm now in Y9. As I got more popular on Facebook, I got ask fm, since nearly everyone has it. I shared it on my Facebook, at first I got really nice things like: you're beautiful, you're gorgeous, you're perfect. However, a month after I got it, I got hate saying: drink bleach you worthless cunt, kill yourself already, slit your wrists you useless bitch. At first it didn't bother me, until I found out something very interesting about myself. I was...I was...bisexual. I told my mum, and she said it was just a phase. But I knew it was more then a phase. In addition, I came out to the school, and most people were fine with it. Until I came home and checked my ask fm...it was all kill yourself, you bi twat, drink bleach, you fucking gay cunt, slit your wrists now!!! It was all too much, so I...I...cut myself...I was fed up of living like this anymore. I hate myself. No one will care, everyone hates me. I just wanted to die. My cuts got deeper and deeper, I thought I could stop, but I can't it was my secret addiction. After seven days, I told someone, it was my only friend, Katie. She was so nice, I could trust her with anything. Sadly, my friend Katie went behind my back and told school. They called me into their office, and told me everything they knew. They called my mum in, as soon as my mum saw me, she started crying, she couldn't believe it. She never knew how unhappy she was. However, things turned for the better I started counselling, and it helped so much, words can't explain. I've totally stopped and I'm never going back. I'm now living a joy full life, and back on my feet after 5 years.
I'm in Y10 now, things are perfect at the moment. Bullying has stopped. Pervs has stopped. Self harm has stopped. Life is perfection to me. Be strong to anyone out their, thats suffering, people love you! Don't forget that:) I love you:3
