fall out boy imagines.

Letting go

It's amazing and horrifying how fast everything can change. One minute you and Patrick were fine, happy as can be. Your lives couldn't have been more perfect, then it all changed in an instant. You didn't see it coming, no one ever does with these sort of things, but everything ends eventually, nothing is forever, no matter how hard you try to keep it. At first you were angry, terrified, baffled, and probably not making it any better for Patrick, not that he would listen to you anyway. It was like you two were on two separate planets. Your rage shrank as his somberness grew into a monster, feeding on his dismay. God, how did you let this happen?

" I will always love you." Those words rang in you ears loud and violent. Just wishing that you go back and hear them again. But the days of planning for an always, a forever, were long gone.

At first he tried to ignore it. That creeping feeling of him finally breaking following him around like a shadow for about a week and a half. He didn't want to admit that what was done is done, and so were you. But that didn't last long, since he couldn't pretend everything was okay anymore, reality finally set in, and with it came devastation and bitterness.

He became isolated socially and emotionally, crestfallen for weeks that turned into months. And nothing you did could help anymore. He wouldn't eat, move, sleep, just stumble around the house, empty and broken. You would yell, shout, scream at him that this wasn't his fault, that your relationship was perfect but sometimes these things happen. It was time, you both knew it, but neither of you could let go. You refused to leave until he told you too, because even now you still held on to something. You needed to hear it, you needed to hear the words, "Y/N I've moved on." Pass through his lips before you could finally be at peace with leaving. You needed him to cope before you could even begin to.

Slowly his depression grew into anger, taking it out on the only person he could blame besides himself, you. He would scream, throw things, blame you for everything when deep down he still hated himself. It's not like you stop him, no matter how loud you screamed back.

"How could you do this to me! We were happy, I did everything I could! It's all my fault isn't it!" His voice would crack and he would break down again, leaving you in agonizing silence. But that emotion was traded with another one, but was still boiling under the surface of his heart, right next to the painful distress.

"Baby please I need you. I know what I did and I would do anything to change it... I can't do this without you. I won't make it without you, please..." He begged and it tore your heart piece by piece. But though all of it you couldn't tell him it would be alright, not this time. You were leaving, hell you were already gone, there was nothing he could do anymore.

" I want you to be happy Patrick and your not happy anymore. Just admit it, just tell me you want me to leave. Let me go..." You would shout but he wouldn't listen. He forgot all the happy memories you two shared, became a vortex of sadness and rage, pushing out everyone and using himself as a punching bag. You overheard a conversation between him and Pete, his best friend trying to talk some since into him.

"This isn't healthy man. You need to move on with your life, I know you love her but she wants you to be happy, I know she does. And you can't do that by beating yourself up over it. It's terrible but these things happen sometimes... We're all worried about you." He pleaded.

After a while you were so worried that this is who Patrick was now, this shamble of a human with nothing but regret and grief carried on his too heavy heart. You can't tell who would cry more, him or you. Just as you were about to give up and leave anyway, say your last goodbyes in hopes he would find peace, he surprised you.

Hopping in the car, he drove towards the place he hadn't seen since the day he shut down. Up over hills you stared out the window, counting the trees while he turned the corner and parked the car by the field filled with stone.

Stepping out of the vehicle slowly, he grabbed the bouquet of roses he bought on the way and you walked together through the faceless names of those who had flowers for them to be remembered by. Tears fogged his eyes as he approached the delicately carved piece, round and shiny and new, the one with your name on it.

"Y/N I- I know this is long over due. I wish there was something- someway I could tell you this.... I miss you more than words could ever say. I'm so so sorry, I blamed myself for what happened I just wasn't watching were I was going. If I had seen the truck maybe I could have avoided it... Maybe you would still be here." He wiped his tears and choked on his words, you sitting on your own grave stone. "I miss you more and more everyday. I will always love you until the day I can be with you again but- but I am done being full of anger and sadness. You wouldn't want me to be like this I know you wouldn't I just... Lost myself. But it's time to let you go, it's time I move on with you forever in my heart. You changed my entire life with one smile and I will never regret it. Until I see you again baby... Here's to us." He choked out boldly and set the flowers down with a gentle yet shaky hand. You could have sworn he looked right at you, seeing the shimmer in his eyes like for a split second, he knew you were there. relief flooded onto you, as did a smile that snuck onto you face, growing bigger as he stood up, still looking as if for the first time, he could actually see you, he how happy you were that he finally was moving on. He was going to be okay, and that's all you wanted.

Standing up, you tried to touch his hand but he moved to quickly. Instead you called after him before he made it to the parking lot.

"I love you... Thank you so much." You said, suddenly unable to move forward anymore than the head stone plot. He stopped mid step and you froze hastily, he couldn't possibly have heard you but, for a moment you thought... But it was only something on his shoe that he quickly dusted off. You watched him get into the car and pull out down the street. This time you weren't going with him, you were going somewhere different. You didn't know where but was exited and nervous to find out, death was a mystery but you were not longer scared that you were leaving something broken behind. What else can you be but optimistic? Nothing lasts forever, people come and people go but it's the hearts that they touched that's lets them actually, in one form or another, live long past their last breath.

Sorry if this was sad, thank you for reading! Don't forget to vote please!! Thnks fr th vts :P