Painted Sunflowers

Chapter 1

//TRIGGER WARNING\\

Ivan stood in the gorgeous, lush sunflower field as he did every day. When he stepped foot in the field, all of his worries and troubles just... Disappeared. It was just him and his thoughts, free, left alone to mingle.

It had been a long, stressful day, filled to the brim with either bullies or people who just ignored him. It was worse than usual, which is saying something- his crippling depression is constant, always next to him- like a shadow, only it never disappears when he steps into the shade.

The sparkling, loud yellow flowers that seemingly went on for centuries  around him calmed him and the slight breeze that tickled his fingers and nose made him happy. The sun shone down, providing warmth and magnificent bright light that reflected off of his pale sheet white skin.

Ivan ran here as fast as he could, and a slight smile- which is really a huge achievement for him- was plastered across his face. This was the one place he was actually happy, the one place he could be himself without the horrible fear of what people would think.

Alone at last, thoughts flooded through his head. Thoughts that made his slight smile vanish, and his eyebrows knit together in deep concentration.

The Russian looked up into the soft blue sky that was speckled with puffy clouds,then plopped down in the freshly cut grass. A blue bird chirped happily above him, but flew away as quickly as it came.

"Why do I scare people so much?" He wondered out loud. He often did this when he came to the field.

The bullies words flushed into his head.

"Disgusting. I didn't know anyone could be that ugly, but your nasty face says otherwise."

"You're freaking screwed up in the head, you know that? Retard..."

"Do us a favor and die already! Everyone hates you. Go cut yourself."

The hate-filled words echoed again and again, bouncing off every corner of Ivan's mind. "Why do people hate me? What did I do?" His voice was growing louder and more desperate by the second. His face crinkled up with sorrow and despair, his bottom lip trembling.

"WHY? WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?" He screamed at the sky, arms thrown up to the heaven he knew wasn't real. Tears burned in his eyes, and his usually pale skin was tinted red with frustration and loss of breath.

Large, hot tears were now streaming down his face, and he screeched and choked jagged sobs into his light pink scarf for hours. Maybe more. It didn't matter.

People don't cry because they're weak. They cry because they've been strong for too long.

He never had meltdowns- never. He'd always just kept the terrible feelings collected, piled up in a bottle hidden away under fake smiles and forced laughs.

His flowing tears just kept coming, staining the grass with his pain and sorrow.

"A-all I want i-is a fr-iend..." He whispered, and sighed, wiping the tears and attempting to compose himself. Sadly, that was about as easy as gluing back together a shattered glass window and then expecting it to be as perfect as it was when you bought it.

A sudden wave of tiredness swept over the shaking boy- his heart decided it was time to take a break to distract him from the torture. He fell asleep still in the field, laying in the soft grass.

If you were to pass by and spare him a glance, you'd see a peaceful young man asleep in the grass, the moon shining just right on his gleaming hair and the stars that speckled the empty black night the perfect touch to his seemingly peaceful figure.

But, on the chance that you were to look closer, you'd notice tears still smeared on his face and his shiny silver  locks messy from sobbing into a scarf. Not to mention that he was clinging on to that said scarf like a child, so you might notice the "healed" scars on his neck.

But he hadn't stopped cutting, he just learned to do it in places that no one would see.

And you wouldn't notice his tears shimmering in the moonlight, and you wouldn't pay attention to his shivering outline in the dead of night.

Because no one - and I mean no one - ever cares about Ivan Braginsky.

Ever.

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Hey everyone! I just wanted to say thank you for reading my crappy story.

~Tag people you know crave a little RusAme action~

Thank you! Bye, darlings!