Prologue
It began at a funeral, but then again doesn't it always? With me anyway. It's just one of the perks of being an oncologist at a Children's Medical Center, where Cancer B is sure to indefinitely leave its marks. But I've known this, knew this, ever since I wanted to be one at the simple but coplicated age of 14, my friends repeatedly saying "wow" or in other words "your fucking crazy for even thinking of such a sad job". Great peer support don't you think? My parents had always wanted me to go into the medical field, it wasn't much of a choice as a decision, but I agreed, only to put my own twisted edition of . Being an oncologist was a lot more fun than regular doctors- I got to write eulogies, drown in work, and go to tons of funerals. Yes, in the current day of 2025- at least in the US- there were several funerals, since the kids seemed to just stop to want living as cancer become more common and... different. Everything was going well, we were so close to finding a cure, when the question changed. It didn't disappear but had a rather grand re-enterance. I was going through college when this happened, about to be my way on medical school, when everything we thought we knew about cancer...Evolved.
Introducing, *drum roll please* Cancer B. Not cancer, but Cancer B, it's evolved current brother. Unlike cancer, which was a generic term and was then broken down into more specific cancer parts such as Leukemia or Lung Cancer, Cancer B, is everywhere and everything all at once. All or nothing- you either have it or you don't. No stages, just living with the parasite. Still as the disease evolved, our medicine and technology struggled to keep up, and at least 75% of the patients in the place I work are on 3 different kind of test drugs. It's this huge Guinea Pig project, that Congress passed because literally our nation was so desperate at one point in time. However, this drug isn't that bad, there is one good thing. Though the cancer is everywhere, you'll feel the picture of health until the last few months. And it takes 10% longer to even affect you anyway, so you have a significant more amount of time to finish that crazy bucket list of yours. It's a trade off, more time for more disease.
Anywho, I doubt you want to hear about my rantings on Cancer B (I am a graduated Med Student on that specific subject so that could literally take hours) but more about the story. It is a significant part of this tale, and for a while I had treated it just like my job, it happened and I lived with it. It wasn't until it took my heart did I realize the gravity of this disease. It wasn't till I was crushed did I realize how to breathe. It wasn't until death that I started to live. and that's exactly where our story begins today.
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EXCERPT FOR CHAPTER 1 *coming soon*
Chapter 1: Death Began It All
It was sunshining-bird-singing-kind of funeral today, even though the forecast said there would be an increased chance of rain. It was rather warm for September in New York, and I hated every second of it. It was all that was going through my mind, how the gods hated me and they were making it all perfect weather-y on one of the most depressing days of my life. This funeral, it wasn't like the other funerals I've gone to because, in this funeral, I couldn't just sit placidly and look pitiful as the earth took one more person that I had tried to save.
This funeral, it was a cloud that was now enveloping one of my only little sunshines forever and inevitable.
This was the funeral, the only one, in a long while, in which I had to physically dig my nails into my palm from cursing at everything in my path and bit my lips red from crying out my wheezing heart. No one knew it was cover-up, my seemingly immutable calm facade. All my smiling, and laughing, care-free spirit really led a way to an underground city filled with dark mazes and spilled dreams.
I was twisted yes, and no one knew, I didn't want to lead people into the labyrinth that was known as me. No one had known, but that one, who had seamlessly unwound my soul and opened it up to see the scribbled writing of how alone and lost I was. No one had known but him. Him, who I will never forget.
He, who is being buried here today.
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