My Black Cat

Untitled Part 1

 My breath is shaky as I sit and stare towards the front of the room. Thinking to myself about how much I hate these damn meetings, people talking about their problems and how they think they wound up here. Looking up at the fluorescent lights, my vision starts to blur, turning my attention downwards at my white, laceless shoes, until one of the guards taps me on the shoulder and asks if I am ready to speak. Nodding slightly while taking in her appearance,

"Hmm, She must be new. I hadn't seen her on the grounds before." ,the thought brewed in my mind until I was facing everyone in the support group. Standing on shaky legs I clear my throat and begin to relive that dreadful night.

Looking into the crowed of white shirts and blue medical pants, I started up the usual pretences.

"Hello, My name is Jamie, and i'm here today due to memory loss and harming others during these blackouts."

Everyone said hello to me then fell silent, looking at me with curious eyes, waiting for me to finish my story. Taking a deep breath, I begin to speak...

***

I lie awake and think back to those days a lot said Jamie. The days where everything was simple and life was easy to endure, back when my feet would hit against the cold tile floors of the corridor's of that forsaken school. Sometimes I wish I could go back though. The days where the world was always rushing by me and everything was a blur. I, like some many before me and i'm guessing many more to come did not like school; it's not that I was a bad at school, in fact the very opposite. True I did go to parties, actually I went all the time; I mean what else would you expect from a crazy jock kid from BrockRidge High school. My life was one of great pleasure, for it just passed me by without ever requiring me to take part of it. People thought me there friend, and I saw no reason to destroy the illusion for them. Since many people liked me, I often got invited to different events, especially parties, I would go to them of course, but I never went alone, always by my side was my best friend, Alyss. Now simply being friends with Alyss confused people, but her being my best friend left them utterly dumbfounded. People would always ask me,

"Why are you two friends? You guys are nothing alike, and she's really weird, and it just doesn't make sense." To be honest they were right. Alyss and I hardly had anything in common, but we connected back in middle school and just stuck together. We meet during a time in Alyss's life when she was being bullied badly. People told her all the time to just kill herself,

***

Rage bowled from within me as I lost focus on the story. "It's really fucked up how people think shit like that is okay to say," The female guard stepped towards me as she did the fluorescent light danced off her name tag.

"Hmm.. her name is Sally. Interesting." The thought played in my mind until her voice broke through. Sally spoke to me hesitantly, checking to see if I was okay, while glancing at the other guard in the room to make sure he was ready incase I had a fit or something.

Regaining reality back I began to apologize,"Umm...sorry got off topic." Clearing my throat slightly, I started my story back up.

***.

Back in Middle school Alyss almost always wore black cat ears, so in my mind she was no longer a typical girl but a black cat. Well during one of those days, the teacher stepped out, and the bullying started up again. This time a boy brought a bottle of pills and dumped them onto her desk.

***

"The words he spoke still echo in my ears any time I think about my past, as if he took a knife and carved those ratcheted words into my bone, so that I shall forever remember them." My voice had begun to tremble as I spoke. Reaching for the paper cup on the podium, I walked over to the small table in the room and poured myself some water. Drinking the cool liquid quickly, and letting out a sigh of relief. I started back up towards the front of the room, and even though I didn't look at anyone I could feel all there eyes burning into my skin.