I've come to terms with the fact that I am a normal Human Being, a normal Teenager, a Normal Citizen of this country, A normal particle in this universe that thrives in this planet called earth. But recently, a question kept on popping inside my head. Am I? Am I really?
I've also come into terms about being surrounded by normal people, normal architectural works, a normal surrounding. But then, are they? Are they really?
The questions about the probability of faults in this reality came when I started to question it, this may be some sort of conundrum and some of you may not understand but don't worry, I'll be explaining everything that I could in this state.
At first I only began to wonder how it would feel like to be in somebody else's shoes or being, literally and I didn't think about it because of morals or anything like that, I began to wonder because what seemed normal at first became odd when you really delve deeply and think about it. Kind of like when you say a word 20 times and then the word becomes meaningless after.
Here let me describe what happened.
I was in class and I started to get bored (it seems that strange things happen when you do something out of boredom). I started to drift away from the lecture and just focused on my teacher and then I just wondered; How would it be like if I was her?
I visualized being in her spot where she was standing, what she could see from there, could she see me dozing off? Then I imagined how it would be like if I had her brain? If I could think like her? If I had known everything she knows. What would it be like?
Then I started to delve deeper.
How did she learn everything? How was she in college, high school, elementary? She was working here for 10 years right? How does she cope with everything? If she had been here for 10 years, she shouldn't have had been complaining about how hard it was teaching us since she just had to do whatever she was doing last year and the year before that and the year before that year before this year. I understand that there would be new topics that they had to teach us but really? After 10 years she's still complaining? Then I started to think about her past classes in the 10 years that she worked here. How was it like to have her as the new teacher? Was she stuttering at first? What was it like to be sitting here like 5 years ago? or 10? What are they doing now? Do they have jobs? Do they have their own families now? A Husband? A Wife? Babies? Are some of them dead?
I had to stop myself from imagining things in that instant and no, it's not because of the idea of death, it was stranger than that.
I began seeing myself in my teacher's place, literally.
One minute I was just sitting there with a bored expression on my face and now I was here, in front of the whole class, teaching them what I know in a brain that I don't own.
Strange?
It gets stranger.
I could also see myself, my real self sitting there in the corner, staring at me with a bored expression. And then I realized I was talking. It seems like I was on autopilot with our teacher's coordinates operating it. I couldn't stop talking about chemical reactions, the formula on how to find the percentage . mass, molar mass, or whatever. I couldn't stop myself from asking questions, picking names from my list to call out, or nag a classmate or should I say student of mine?
I started looking at a student and then I was there again, in that person's place, looking at the teacher, then I kept on looking around, transporting myself from one person to another until I began to feel sick.
I was back in my original body.
I began throwing up and I was suddenly pulled up by someone. I couldn't hear anything but a ringing sound that seems to be from inside my brain. I clawed at my head and screamed but no sound came out or was it just because I couldn't hear it from all this ringing?
