May we meet again (a Bellarke fan fiction)

Chapter 11

So sorry for the late update but life has been crazy and hectic recently. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I'll update again as soon as possible :)

Bellamy's POV:
A few days later

When I woke up I felt better than yesterday, not amazing but better so I decided to go to school. I decided that today I was going to hook up with someone. I had to, to get over her, I couldn't say or think of her name without wanting to break down. I knew it was the wrong way to get over her but I didn't care, I just wanted her out of my mind. I didn't want to be emotional and broken every time I thought her name, I didn't want to feel so weak anymore, I was done with it.

I got up before O and headed to school, I got there right as Murphy and his group got there.

he smiled and called me over
"Dude you're here, I brought you a girl" he said as he pointed to the girl standing next to him 
"How did you know I was gonna be here today?" I asked, he laughed and said
"Ive brought her every day, waiting for you to show up" I smiled and looked at her. She was tall with dark hair, the exact opposite of Clarke and that was exactly what I needed. I gave her a seductive smirk as I put my arm around the girl, not caring what her name was. I kissed her, it was dull and no spark was there, nothing like Clarke and I's kisses, oh how I miss Clarke's kisses. I quickly shook that thought out of my head as I walked into school. She randomly stopped me in the hallway and started making out with me and I didn't fight it...

As our lips were connected, making out but in a sloppy way that showed a hookup was all we both wanted I saw Clarke and Finn walk up. Finn had his arm around her, she saw me. I caught the sad look in her eyes before she quickly covered it up. I felt guilty but I realized that she should be the guilty one, she's the one that left me. But I still felt terrible, I felt my heart drop. She walked up to O and started talking to her so I told the random girl on my arm to wait for me in the class and pick me out a seat. I quickly walked up to O and Clarke.

I pulled O away and said to her
"I don't want you hanging out with Clarke" I didn't give her a chance to talk back, I just walked away. I took a few deep breaths as I tried to compose myself. I knew I was being a horrible brother for telling O that but I just couldn't see her talking to my sister after what she did. I knew she did it because she loved me but I didn't care, I just wanted my girl back.

I saw Clarke walk past me and into class. She lifted her face up slightly and our eyes locked, I let her see what was going through my mind for just the smallest of a second but it was still too long. She could see how broken I was. How much I missed her, how much I needed her. I could tell just by looking into her eyes that she was hurting too. She quickly looked away from me and continued to walk into class. I frowned and said to myself
You deserve more then that. She doesn't treat you good enough.
But I knew that wasn't what I really felt. I knew she treated me better than I could ever ask for. What I was really thinking was
Why do I still love her? I want the pain to go away, I can't take it anymore.

Because she's amazing. That's why you still love her.
My mind answered my own question. I sighed as I realized that I was standing in the middle of the hall talking to myself. I finally walked into math class to see Clarke making out with Finn, she seemed not forced this time and that broke my heart. I could usually tell that she was forcing herself to kiss him, I could usually tell that she didn't want to be kissing him but this time she looked like she was actually enjoying it and that hurt so much.

I walked up to the girl and kissed her, I pulled away from her and asked
"Hey princess, you wanna skip class?" As soon as I said that I regretted it, I was just so hurt I wanted Clarke to feel my pain. I watched as Clarke flinched as I used my nickname for her on a random slut. I felt guilty but I did it to pay her back, I really did love her and she broke my heart. Hooking up was the only way to forget so we went over to my house and I brought her up to my room.