7/13/13
MY BIGGEST MISTAKE
It was the biggest mistake of my life my deepest regret was being so afraid that i lost the one thing that makes life worth the living.Without you nothing has meaning anymore without you nothing is sweet,nothing is right. I miss everything about you and i mean everything in the bad times i had opportunity to show you who i am each time was an opportunity to shine and show you how much i care i spent so long trying so hard to be there for everyone and when it came to the most important person in my life i failed i should have gone to you and held you i heard your cry i heard your needs and i heard your desire and i failed us you needed my strength not my weakness you needed security and safety.I know I let everyone down my kids are suffering too they wanted it to they saw the beauty especially Matt he knows and he is suffering he just hides it well.It was his first family the first time he felt like a unit he was proud of us proud of me for loving such a wonderful person.I let him down too i so wanted it all i so need it nothing will ever be the same life as i know it is lost i just want to fix it make it all right show you and everyone the man that i am kind generous loving protecting devoted committed just wish i could turn back the hands of time i just wish you would hear me i just wish you weren't angry with me and that you would finally give us a real chance with this man the one who believes the one who's not afraid to go all in...I love you babe please forgive....
