Hold Onto Me (little mix version)

Bless the Broken Hearts

~Jesy~

The walk back through the hallways was very unpleasant. But, what I resented the most was stepping through that door of Elena's hospital room.

I know the girls would know that something is wrong when they see me.

I mean, they knew that I was going to a meeting about Elena's condition, they knew that the news wasn't very likely to come out good.

And when they see me come in with makeup all down my face, warm tears still falling from my eyes, and constant sniffs from my red, puffy nose, they are gonna know it was bad.

I sighed, but kept walking, knowing they were all still desperate to know, and it would be unfair if they had to wait longer than if I just sucked it up.

They're gonna cry, no doubt about it, and it is going to be a very upsetting and depressing day.

This situation was just so out of control and bad, that I couldn't even think positive.

I sniffed again and wiped the tears from under my eyes before pushing open the door to the room of my first daughter, who was most likely going to be buried 6 foot under within two weeks.

The girls turned to face me, they all took in my features before they spoke.

"Oh no, no ohmigud." Jade was the first to speak, shaking her head and laughing like she was insane.

After a minute of silence, my eyes meet their terrified and concerned ones.

I cleared my throat, which was still a little hoarse from crying, "To sum it up, they said that if she doesn't show any brain activity by the end of the week, they have to..." I sniffed a little as more tears flowed from my eyes, "let her go." I finished.

All of their jaws dropped, then Leigh said, "Wait, there still has to be a possibility that she will show some brain activity. Right?"

"That's where it hit the most honestly, they showed me a graph and her brain activity has literally went down 4% every 3 weeks, but these last three weeks they went down by 9%." I said.

Their faces were somewhat hopeful until I dropped the bomb on them.

I looked over at Elena, who was laid on the bed peacefully. Her hands were at her side and her hair was pulled so that and equal amount sat on each shoulder.

She still looked beautiful.

I climbed into the bed with her and sobbed into her chest. I wish she was here.

I miss her sarcastic remarks.

I miss when we used to cuddle.

I miss when we watched movies.

I miss when her and Perrie pulled a prank on Jade.

I miss how she would dress in the cutest little things.

I miss everything about her.

And it kills me to know that we were the reason she didn't look twice and was hit by that car.

Jamie sat behind me and attempted to comfort me by rubbing circles into my back.

I turned around and saw that she and the girls were all silently crying.

Leigh was praying for god to let her stay, Jade sat on the window and watched cars drive by while tears made a river down her cheeks.

Perrie sat with her elbows resting against the bed and her face in her hands. She was releasing soft sobs into her hands as her body shook.

Jamie looked at me sympathetically and leaned foreword to kiss my forehead.

"I love you mommy." She said in an adorable tone.

I kissed her forehead and said, "I love you too baby girl."

• • • • • • •

After spending almost 5 hours in the hospital, we finally went home.

Nobody was talking, we were all silent and we kept our heads low.

I began walking to my room, I wanted to get to sleep, although it was only about 9:30.

"Wait, can you stay with me tonight?" Jamie asked sadly, but a bit shyly.

I slightly smiled, "Of course baby girl, just let me go get my PJ's on. Alright?"

She nodded her head and walked to her room.

I then walked into mine and changed. I hurriedly went to her room and went inside.

She was already asleep, cuddled up under her blankets.

I smiled at how cute she was, knowing her and Elena would get along if they'd ever met.

I shook the through from my head and crawled in beside her.

I breathed in deeply and snuggled up to her warm body.

If I was lucky, sleep would come and take me away.

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