Save your breath

The days move slower while the pain grows stronger. I wish i could just go dig myself a hole to die in and pretend that my life didn't go completely to shit. However, that isn't the case because you cant skip the present, all you can do is just deal with whatever the fuck "God" dealt you. But I cant just sit here and take what i don't deserve.... I don't deserve this ... right ? 

Being in class thinking about this stuff actually makes me feel normal because you know everyone has their own secrets; some even more fucked up then your own. That way your not as fucked up as you think you are. 

" are you okay ?" 

 "are you sure?" 

" I feel like... babe, I love you." 

                                                                 Not even 5 minutes after the bell and My boyfriend Justin is already harassing me, i wish he would just fuck off. Yes I love him, but he always assumes something is wrong. There is, but I just cant tell him the secrets that I'm lingering to tell, and if i were to tell him that would mean id be risking something much more then my own life. 

Being sixteen is tough and when you have no parents to guide you through shit, it makes it even harder. My dad left when i was two, as for mom she bailed out on me when last year. Ever since then, i lived with Justin in his apartment. Yes, living with your 18 year old boyfriend can be risky but he's all I have, and what I need. 

" Miss.Daigle, Please report to the nurses office" 

    

 Of course. For a month now all you hear on that damn box that makes your voice sound like a retarded big bird is mine. I grabbed my things and walked to the nurse, avoiding all the eyes on my way out the door. When i get there I can see the evil orange bottle ... sitting there, calling my name.

I know i shouldn't, but i grab it, and shove it in my bag. 

" Miss.Daigle" 

I turn too quick, guilty written across my forehead but she just motions me to take a seat so I do. 

" How are things?" 

                                               "Oh you know... same old same old." 

she gives me a look like I'm up to no good and i flash the smile that everyone give adults when they suspect something. 

" Are you following the list that i wrote you ? you wouldn't want to harm the baby"

                                             

                                                                                     "Yea I know, i am. .... Look can i go now?" 

Before she has a chance to object I'm already out the door. 

 * still trying to figure this site out, the story isnt even near done. sorry! *