Escape or Eject

Prologue

I listened for any signal that someone in the house was awake, but all that sounded was the faint ticking from the grandfather clock downstairs. It’s now or never, I thought to myself before putting each of my legs threw the window and stepping out onto the roof. I have snuck out plenty of times before, but it was different now. I always planned on coming back, but not this time. After tiptoeing to the edge of the roof, I grabbed onto the old red oak tree and descended down branch by branch till I hit the grass.

Here we go.

There was nothing to interrupt my thoughts as I walked through the woods behind my house. Every emotion, every memory was stabbing me from all sides. The screaming in my head was heightened; not even pinching my scars could to get it to soften this time. The trees blocked the view of the night sky, and the sound of chirping crickets brought my mind into a daze, into a night where things were starting to get better for once.

“Did you hear that?” my voice had squeaked with worry. The fire made the brisk autumn night warm like a summer’s.

“It was just an ember popping, El.” He’s the first person to call me that; I’m surprised he even knew Liz stood for Elizabeth. “Really I’ve been out here plenty of times, no bears wander this close to town and even if they did I could scare them away.” Ryder flexed his bicep and then took a seat next to me. “I wouldn’t have brought you out here if it wasn’t safe.”

I raised one of my eyebrows, “Why exactly did you bring me out here by the way?” Ryder and I never hung out by ourselves before. Actually I don’t think we’ve ever really ‘officially hung out.’ It’s always just been coincidences.

“Oh right!” he said remembering his intentions. “Follow me I want to show you something.” His hand gestured out to me and I looked cautiously at it for a second or two before taking it.

A snap from a tree branch brought me back. I reached the road and pulled out my phone to get the address I had saved. It wasn’t far from here and once I entered Main Street it was simple to find the person I was looking for. I walked through a familiar alleyway that was flooded with puddles and knocked on the motel door. For it being three in the morning, there was a lot of sound booming from the musty room.

The locks rumbled and the door creaked open revealing a boney thirty year old man with a beard grown like weeds against his face. “What’s your business?” he mumbled confused.

I didn’t have time to persuade, so I grabbed my wallet from my gym bag and handed him a hundred dollar bill. “What’s the best you got?”

The man chuckled, “For you?” he pointed in disbelief still laughing, “A bag of ace.” No one expects it from a five foot two princess.

I crossed my arms, “I gave you a hundred I know you have more than gateways.” He gestured for me to come in but I waited by the doors anyway. Once alone the thoughts gained control again and zipped memories in and out of my head.

Ryder shook the snow off of his collar, “Look we’re gonna go inside and you wait by the door and keep watch alright?” His cult had already walked inside but I held him by the wrist. I never knew he was into this it would have changed things months ago. I can’t go back to this again.

“Why didn’t you tell me this was where you were going? Ry, seriously what are we doing here?” I could feel my anxiety cranking up. My breathing went erratic and I began shaking.

He shushed me, “Stop flaking El, come on! Plus this stuff can help you stop bugging out so much. We’ve done it tons of times we never get caught. Don’t let this wreck our streak.” My arms went numb and he pulled away from me.

“A-hem." The man stood back at the door frame. I hadn’t even noticed I was shaking till I reached for the crystal white bag in his hand.

“Thanks.” I said before taking off down the path toward the train station. I tried sniffing up some of the white dust but my hands were jolting so much I dropped the bag.

“NO!” The internal scream made it to my lips. I collapsed onto the street and frantically collected what was left of it. My monthly supply was now down to a week or two. I’d have to get more in the city.

I did my best to contain myself before entering the station but I probably still looked crazed. “I need a one way to New York.” The woman behind the window studied me.

“Your name please?” she asked monotone.

“Amy Johnston.” Phony name.

“May I just ask why you are going this late at night?” She wasn’t buying it.

“Well that’s not really your business now is it,” I searched for her nameplate, “Mrs. Hurmst.” Her expression didn’t budge. “If you must know I’m going on a college visit in upstate and I’m meeting up with my Mom at Grand Central.” My mom was long dead.

She took my fifty and printed out the ticket. “The tracks are to your left, the train should be here any minute.”

The echoing inside my head wasn’t my own now. They were his. I flinched.

“Go, go, go!” sirens screeched. I held onto my ears. Car doors slammed and adrenaline pumped through me.

Flashes of then and now overwhelmed my body.

“El, what the hell?”

“I’m sorry,” I stuttered out loud.

“You were supposed to be looking out for us! We almost got caught!” I felt the slap strike my cheek and the echoes cheered. The empty platform lights flickered as my knees buckled.

“I can’t keep dragging you along El. You burn everything you touch!” I felt his kick in my gut.

“No one can fix you ‘cause you’re shattered!” My throat was clenched and ears rung.

“Dude, stop you’re killing her.” “She gets it man.” “We’re not cleaning this up later.”

It all stopped. I looked down at the bag of white in my lap.  Wiping the sweat off my hands I got off the ground and walked over to the yellow line. The train’s lights were blinding and now the choice came down to two options with just a few seconds left.

Escape or eject.

“Do us all a favor, Liz.” I looked to my left to see who owned the voice.

It was me.

“Go.” My mirror image growled.

I turned so the lights were facing me and closed my eyes, taking in a breath.