The One Who Hides...

       Not everyone that smiles is happy, or even close to feeling happy. They put on a act just to show everyone that life is ok, so no one will ask questions. If they do start asking we don’t know what to say or how to react. Most just don’t care about the people around them. All they want is someone to spill all their feelings too. The one who will listen without telling the others about what they said. I am sadly one of those girls who hide what they are feeling. The one that holds the most pain but shows no sign of  it. The one who is breaking inside and no one around her even cares. The one who cried herself to sleep without being heard by others.

                We are the people that put on a show for others to see. If someone is down we cheer them up because we feel like they should not suffer. I hate to see others sad over something someone did to them. So the first thing that comes to mind is make them laugh. They might become friends but not the ones we need. Now we might hide in crowds or hide in plain sight. We are never the same even though things could be the same. People like me try to change for the better but it never really works out. So what do we do when someone shows emotion toward us? Well we run of course because we run out of emotions.

                Going to school tires us out the most because that’s where we act the most. No one will question it because we are just that good. Who knows what is real or fake around them? People change in a blink of an eye and leave the others behind. Its people like them that I hate but never show it. Now most of you are probably wondering my name and why I feel this way. So let’s just start with the easy one first and that is my name. It is simply but pretty at the same time, my name is Emma Lancaster. The girl who has all the money but hates it with a passion for what it did to her family. Now let’s move on to the hard question that’s going through your minds. That question would be why do you feel this way? Well let’s start from the beginning of all the problems.

                One night my dad came home drunk and covered in blood. At the time I was only six years old and didn’t know any better. So asking if he was ok was the wrong move. He came over to me and hit me hard. My head was throbbing from the impact and that was not enough. Picking me up he threw me across the room into the wall. Mom came down from her room and grabbed him from behind. That didn’t stop him though he just pushed her off. Threatening to call the cops that’s when dad really lost it.

                Going over to my mom he grabbed the knife and started to stab her. My own mother died before my eyes. Getting up I ran to the other room and called the cops without him knowing about it. They came when he started to kick me in the sides. Taking him away in handcuffs I lost both my parents that night. To this day I still wonder why my dad did that to me and mom. They won’t let me talk to him and he won’t even allow a visit. My dad refuses to talk to me and explain why he snapped. On that day I still go to my mom’s grave and leave her flowers, it was the least I could do for her. She was the one who saved me that night.

                Anyway after all that happened I was told to live with my aunt. She took me and raised me like I was her own kid. I was at school because I was ten and old enough to go. My aunt never married so she was alone at the house. Someone tried to rob her and she wouldn’t let that happen. She was saying that this was my happy place. It was the one home that I started to heal in because of her helping me. The cops had to come to school to get me and to identify the body. So by the age of ten I have seen two dead bodies and they were people who I loved more than anything. It made me think why I was even put down here on earth.

                Going on to the next chapter of my life I was put into a foster home. It was easy for me to be adopted because of my sad background. The only problem is the person who they signed me over too, was just like the ones who killed my family. That was the time I shut down all of my emotions. He kept my name which I was thankful for because it was the last thing I had. No one from the family wanted me because I was bad luck. Any way back to the man who took me in. He lived alone and that alone did not settle well with me. That same night he came into my room and raped me. Then when he was done he started to hit me and make me bleed.

                The sad story never ends because I still live with that man. He made sure I never told anyone or I would lose my life if I did. Each night I come home and do everything he tells me to do. I cook, clean, do the odd jobs, and then at night I sell my body. He lets strange men into the house and they pay him. My room was nothing but a bed sheet and a lamp. The rest was just plain walls and a cement floor. There was some blood on the floor and walls but I try and clean it up. The men would use me as a punching bag or if they want to be pleasured I would go the other room. Of course they covered my face so they won’t know who I am.

                It’s sad how other people could do this just to release some stress. Were there other girls out their just like me? Who had to deal with this their whole lives? If so maybe we can help one another to get out of this, to make a run for our lives. It’s not like we eat a lot of food. The only thing we do a lot is shower for the next person to do as they please. When will this sad life of mine be over? Is someone going to save me and help me though this? Those are the questions I ask myself. Then again do we ever know what will happen in the future?

                Life is full of twist and turns that seems to go nowhere. We always try to think of what could be, though we are just giving ourselves false hope. The only thing we know for sure is that we can go at the age of 18. Then if we do they find another person to replace you. So they have to go through what you did. In this small town they would believe him over me any day. What if I leave and tell the cops from another area. That way they can sneak around and find out the truth. No that was just wishful thinking for me. There was no way a girl will replace me just because I have had enough. At least they should be happy with another family.

                I heard the door open and got up right away. He came in with another man around his age. Pushing me on the ground I knew what that meant. Grabbing my bag I put it over my head. The first punch was to my right rib cage. Then he went for the face which made me cough up blood. Silent tears streamed down my face when he kept going. Once he had enough of hitting me the man laughed. Tearing apart my clothes he admired his work, like he was proud of what he did. Kicking me one last time in the ribs he opened the door. Taking off the bag the old man was smiling at me.

“It’s good that you didn’t scream this time around. Go get ready for the next person.” I just nodded my head.

                The shower was cold and made my body numb. It was so hard for me to walk but he wouldn’t care. All he wants is the money from all the work. There was a night gown on the floor waiting for me. That meant that the next person wanted sex from me. Putting it on I went to the other room where the guy was waiting. The mask was next to the bed. Going over to it there was a note under it. The man nodded to me meaning it was for me. Maybe it was what he liked and how things should go. So unfolding it looked at what was inside. It was a warning that the cops were coming right now. To duck down behind the bed so once they shoot I am covered.

                Who told them about this place? The old man made sure no cops got into it. That those people have some sort of criminal background. Though I never found out how he knew. Most of all, who was my saver? I must tell them thank you for helping me. Then I remembered my dad’s men and how they would want me dead. Nothing will stop them from carrying out his orders. I didn’t want to die after being hunted for months or years. So to save them some trouble I ran out of the room. The person was chasing me but they were too late. My body was weak so one shot should kill me. With that thought I stopped right in front of his gun and let him shoot me.

                It was nothing like I have ever felt before. The level of pain was new and not only did he shoot me once but twice. There by the time they find me I should be dead. It was time that I joined my mom and aunt in the afterlife. On earth there was no one for me any way. Seeing the black dots I knew that I would pass out soon. So slipping into the darkness I heard my name being called. They were saying sorry but it had to happen. Falling into the blackness was easy for me to do. After all it was not my first time blacking out; the only difference was that I would not wake up again. Little did I know that thought was far from the truth....